


Software Instability

by Destril



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Connor learning to be a real boy, Connor makes friends, Domestic Fluff, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Hank is a good person, becoming human, father figure Hank, headcannons, mostly post good ending, other people to come, various ocs for plot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-06-15 06:37:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 24,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15407166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Destril/pseuds/Destril
Summary: Connor and the gang just going through life, making new memories, having fun and learning what it is to live.Collection of my personal headcannons about D:BH





	1. Budget

**Author's Note:**

> Headcannon: Hank starts using his drinking budget to buy things for Connor.

**Detroit Police Department  
7:44 PM**

 

_ANALYSING…  
……._

_.PAGE 24/60 ANALYSED_

_…._

_SEARCHING FOR DATA PATTERN.._

_...  
…..NO PATTERN FOUND_

_…._

 

“Hey, you almost done?” 

Connor blinked a few times rapidly, his yellow LED blinking as well before fading back to its normal pale blue. He glanced up from the files he had been reading to where Hank stood near the edge of his desk.

Connor noticed the darkened windows and checked his internal clock.

**TIME: 7:45 PM**

“I’m sorry Lieutenant I lost track of the time. I would like to stay and finish this actually if you want to head home. I will be complete in-”

_ESTIMATED TIME OF COMPLETION.._

_…..CALCULATING…_

_..CALCULATION COMPLETE_

“Approximately twenty five minutes.”

Hank stared at him for a moment longer with a strange look on his face, before giving a short nod.

“Alright then I'm gonna head over to the bar for a quick drink, I’ll see you at home.”

Connor opened his mouth to protest the other’s plan but closed it a moment later. Connor had gotten Hank into a much healthier place both physically and mentally lately and as a result the Lieutenant's drinking had thankfully decreased, but there were still nights the older man would go out and indulge.

He supposed this would be one of those nights.

The fact that the man had even stop drinking as much as he previously had was more than Connor had ever thought he would, so he supposed compromises like this were necessary. 

“Okay, I’ll see you later.”

Hank nodded and made his way to the front of the station leaving Connor to go back to reviewing case files. 

He was nearing the end of the folder he wished to finish tonight when a notification message blinked into his vision. 

_…..$4.34 WITHDRAWN FROM ACCOUNT 5534…._

Connor gave the alert little mind as he flicked it away. 

Not long after he had begun to live with Hank in a more permanent arrangement the man had given Connor access to his bank account on the premise that if Connor ever needed anything or the android went shopping or bought things for Sumo or the house he would have the funds available. 

Connor was now able to make his own money and have an account, but he found that the lines of money were easily blurred when living in the same house as another and they often just transferred a set sum of Connor’s own money into Hank’s main account to make things easier. Almost like a rent and utilities bill, though Lieutenant Anderson had always refused to call it such insisting that Connor not need to pay to live with him.

As a result, they had both made separate accounts in which to keep their own personal spending money. Connor’s usually sat untouched as he didn’t often find himself in need of anything. Hank’s was essentially his drinking and fast food budget with the addition of personal items.

Due to being linked into Hank’s account he was able to see alerts for both accounts as well as the balance, though he usually dismissed them immediately as to not encroach on the Lieutenant’s private life and spendings more than he already was. 

It didn’t take long before another alert popped up.

_….. $23.87 WITHDRAWN FROM ACCOUNT 6745…._

Connor was about to dismiss this one as well but paused as he took notice of the actual information. That account was Hank’s private spending account, but something was wrong. 

**TIME: 8:05 PM**

_...ESTIMATING ARRIVAL TIME TO JIMMY’S BAR…._

_...CALCULATING ROUTE…._

_...CALCULATION COMPLETE.._

_….._

_ESTIMATED ARRIVAL TIME.._

_10 MINUTES BY CAR_

_15 MINUTES BY PUBLIC TRANSPORT_

_24 MINUTES WALKING_

_….._

_BEGIN ROUTE?_

_**NO** _

_….ROUTE CANCELLED….._

Connor considered this new information in comparison to the amount of money withdrawn. Hank could drink a startling amount in a short amount of time during a “bad day”, but Connor had not detected any indicators of the Lieutenant experiencing a depressive episode today which would usually mean that he would only have one or two beers and watch a game with the other bar patrons. 

_**QUERY: WITHDRAWAL LOCATION** _

_….CHECKING WITHDRAWAL LOCATION…_

_.._

_LOCATION OF WITHDRAWAL OF $23.87 FROM ACCOUNT 6745.._

_VALUE SHOP 23 E Adams Ave, Detroit, MI 48226_

_START ROUTE?_

_**NO** _

_ROUTE CANCELLED_

_**QUERY: TRANSACTION HISTORY?** _

_...TRANSACTION ITEM(S)_

_CATEGORY FABRICS - BLANKET…_

_CATEGORY BOOKS - HARDBACK (7)_

_CATEGORY OUTERWEAR - JACKET_

_CATEGORY OUTERWEAR - SWEATERS (2)_

The Lieutenant had gone to the value store? But he had stated he was going to the bar? Why would he lie? Why would he feel the need?

Connor knew the store well, Hank and he had visited a few days ago after Connor had stated he had never seen one or been inside of one. Connor had viewed a few items and had even considered buying some but had ultimately deemed them unnecessary purchases and placed them back on the shelves and racks.

It took him a moment to make the connection. The purchases matched with the items he had shown interest in the previous weekend. 

Had the Lieutenant purchased the items...for him?

Connor stared blankly at the monitor in front of him as he processed this new knowledge. 

The Lieutenant, Hank had used his personal money and his bar time to purchase items for Connor. 

A warm feeling bubbled in his chest and Connor felt a soft smile tug on his lips even as his system ran a customary diagnostic.

_...DIAGNOSTIC INITIALIZING…_

_……_

_CORE TEMPERATURE STABLE_

_…._

_FACIAL NERVOUS SYSTEM - **OK**_

_...DIAGNOSTIC COMPLETE…._

_…._

_...NO ISSUES DETECTED…._

Connor found he no longer had any desire to read over the rest of the files and began to close down the folders he had open.

**SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^**

He smiled more at the warning notice his system gave him and shut down his workstation before leaving the building. 

He decided to walk and just enjoy the quiet bustle of the night and allow for Lieutenant Anderson to reach the house before him. 

 

**Home  
8:56 PM**

Connor made his way up the front steps and used the key the Lieutenant had made him to open the front door already bracing himself for the impact of Sumo as he stepped over the threshold. He wasn’t disappointed as the large St. Bernard plowed into his legs barking and huffing his joy.

There was a half-hearted greeting from the living room where Connor could hear the TV playing. He patted Sumo happily and after placing his shoes and CyberLife jacket in the front closet made his way into the main room to join his partner.

Hank was splayed out on the couch a beer can in hand, but Connor was pleased to see that it was one of the ones he had purchased for the other man which contained lower amounts of alcohol and calories. 

The older man didn’t even glance up as Connor took up his normal seat on the other end of the couch, but Connor didn’t mind. While the Lieutenant watched whatever random show he had put on, Connor subtly glanced around for any traces of the purchases but found none though he did detect the sounds of the dryer running.

He had completed the Lieutenant’s forgotten load of laundry this morning before leaving for the station, so the current load probably contained the new clothing and blanket. Connor found himself smiling again and sinking back further into the couch.

**SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^**

They both sat in silence as the show finished and continued onto the next episode. This continued until Hank nodded off one too many times and with a groan struggled to his feet grunting a goodnight to the android at his side he shuffled his way out of the room. Connor bid the other a goodnight and pretended to turn his focus back to the television. Once he heard the click of the bedroom door he quietly made his way to where the old washer and dryer sat. 

He stared at it for a moment before cracking the lid and glancing inside where, despite the poor lighting was able to scan the content and determine that it did indeed match the materials which made up the objects he had picked up at the value shop. 

Connor was still smiling happily as he made his way back to the couch and settled down on it to go into a full rest mode. He had been only going into standby recently due to wanting to use most of his time at night to read over files, but he figured now would be as good a time as any to give himself a night off.

**SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^**

He laid down with his head resting on the arm of the old couch, he had promised Hank that he would try to not power down sitting or standing anymore as it apparently looked “goddamn terrifying” so he had begun taking up more human like positions for sleep.   
Running his last diagnostics, he slowly allowed himself to enter sleep mode.

 

**Home  
8:02 AM**

Connor kept his eyes closed as he felt his systems begin to return to active function. He laid still as his functions and their checks flashed before him one by one confirming themselves in working order. He had almost gotten through all the checks when his systems registered something new.

_..CORE TEMPERATURE ELEVATED 5%..._

_….WEIGHT DETECTED…._

Confused Connor tracked the messages origin and activated his nervous system and touch receptors surprised to find that there was indeed a new weight on him that had not been there when he had gone into sleep mode the night before. 

His optics whirred to life as he blinked a few times to adjust them to the lighting and he lifted his head to glance down at his body, his lips forming a small smile at what he saw. 

The blanket from the value shop lay spread across his body, even slightly tucked around the edges. It’s muted colors and soft appearance had drawn him to it and he was pleased to find it was just as soft and comfortable as he had thought it would be when he’s first found it. 

Glancing around he felt his entire face light up at the sight of several books and some carefully folded clothes laid on the coffee table in front of him with a piece of paper laid on top.

Slowly sitting up he gripped the edges of the blanket to keep it firmly wrapped around his shoulders he reached forward and snagged the note. Hank’s surprisingly neat scrawl covered half of it and that warm feeling from the previous night returned as he read it. 

_Left early to do some shopping, figured you needed the sleep and yes I know you don’t sleep you asshole I just mean that you deserve a break._

_Also figured it was about time you had some things of your own instead of just always using mine. Don’t read into it that much._

_Be home later._

_Hank_

Connor carefully folded the note and placed it in his pocket before gently grabbing one off the sweaters that lay folded there and after a brief consideration shed the blanket and his normal shirt and jacket and carefully pulled it on. 

The lieutenant had picked it out laughing as he handed it to the confused android. It was as a soft material that felt nice on his artificial skin. The solid black surface was broken up by white graphic text that simply read. “Hi. I’m awkward” Connor supposed that it was probably ironic in some way, though he still had a hard time figuring out humor sometimes but judging by Hank’s reaction it was funny. 

He sat there simply basking in all the good signals **_CORRECTION_** emotions he was experiencing, before he stood up and after folding the blanket carefully and pushing up the far too large sleeves of his new sweater, made his way to the kitchen. 

A quick check confirmed the location of the Lieutenant’s phone enroute home as he began to pull the ingredients out for a healthy breakfast omelet, wanting to have it prepared by the time the other came back. 

As Sumo stepped on his toes and he began to fry the eggs Connor found himself struck by a feeling he was unfamiliar with.

It was like contentedness, but it felt stronger and more specific than that.

Confused he ran a search for the feeling, but he came up empty.

**SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^**

A location alert for the Lieutenant brought him back on task as he decided to file away that emotion to analyze more later.

Maybe he would ask Hank when he got back.


	2. Notes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Headcannon: Connor goes into work before Hank sometimes so he starts leaving sticky notes on the mirror and around the house for him.  
> +  
> Connor saves every note that Hank writes him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guy so much for the overwhelming support for the first chapter! I hope you enjoy this one and the others to come just as much.

Hank grumbled as he made his way towards the bathroom. His head was still somewhat fogged after the drinks he had had at the bar last night. Unprompted Connor’s downcast look from when he had come home surfaced. God the kid had the brutalist disappointed look, like an abused puppy. Hank hated seeing the kid look at him like that, that sad resignation as he pointedly didn’t mention the older detective’s blatant intoxication. It made Hank feel like the biggest piece of shit on this damn planet. 

He really had been trying though. He had stopped buying heavy liquors, drank the light beers the kid would buy him, hell he even started eating those protein bars he had noticed turning up in his cabinets instead of his normal chips. 

It just got hard sometimes. Sometimes he would have a bad day and old habits were hard to break. Sometimes they had a case that struck a little too close to home and he couldn’t stop himself from entering that dark spiral for a little. 

Connor had tried to do what he could in those situations, but the kid was still new to the whole emotions thing and though Hank appreciated the effort it didn’t always work.

Rubbing his face to try to wake himself up he opened the bathroom door and flicked on the lights and stopped as he caught sight of the mirror. 

He always had a few sticky notes on the old thing, usually reminders he left himself for dates and such, but today the thing was almost completely covered. The bright pieces of paper almost obscuring the mirror all covered a familiar blocky writing.

Dumbstruck Hank moved closer and leaned on the counter a little to get a better look. As he leaned forward he knocked into a bottle on the counter and glanced down to see a small orange bottle of aspirin sitting next to his favorite mug filled with water. 

He huffed at the thoughtful gesture and turned back to the notes covering the mirror feeling his chest swell with warmth and his eyes prickle a little as he began to read some of them.

_“Good morning Hank!”_

_“Have a fantastic day!”_

_“I hope you are feeling great today!”_

_“Remember to smile :D”_

_“You’re great!”_

_“ <3”_

_“You can do it ^-^”_

The more he read the thicker his throat felt until finally he let out a watery laugh. Dammit he didn’t deserve this kid. Wiping his eyes he downed the pills and water and after doing his business and at least attempting to freshen up he made his way into the kitchen.

Sumo huffed a greeting, his big tail banging on a nearby table leg as Hank made his way over to the counter.

There sat a covered plate and thermos also surrounded by sticky notes. 

_“I made you breakfast! I hope you like it!”_

_“It’s going to rain today so remember to bring your umbrella :)”_

_“Don’t forget you have a meeting at 3 today. I put the notes on the front table.”_

_“It could be cool so don't forget your jacket.”_

_“Remember to give Sumo a goodbye hug!”_

Hank just stood there for a moment with a soft smile on his face before gathering up the sticky notes and carefully putting them in his pocket. As he grabbed the plate and thermos he glanced down at Sumo and shook his head ruefully. 

“What did a old wash up like me do to deserve that kid huh bud?”

Sumo barked and got up, bumping into Hank a few times as he made his way back over to the table and uncovered the plate. 

He couldn’t stop the laugh that burst from his chest at the sight before him.

The kid had made an honest to god smiley face out of his eggs and bacon. Dear god he couldn’t deal with this, this was just too much. This stupid android was just too much. 

It took him a while to calm his laughing before he could even start to eat, and he smiled when he realized that this was probably the best breakfast the kid had made yet. He had mentioned to Hank that he wanted to start learning more day to day skills like cooking and such. 

The kid had given it his all that first morning, but the stuff had honestly tasted terrible, not that Hank had said a word. He had eaten every damn bite of that food because he wouldn’t dare be the reason that kid lost that proud smile he had had when he placed the plate in front of the old detective. 

Finishing up his breakfast and sipping at the coffee Hank finished getting ready and after giving Sumo his obligated hug, dear God he was turning into such a sap, he made his way to work.

A half hour later he had parked and made his way into the main area of the office. From the doorway he could see Connor bent over a tablet focusing intently. Smiling Hank made his way over. Before he even got close to the desk Connor suddenly perked up and looked over, a huge smile on his face as he waved a cheerful greeting. 

Hank almost waved back before he caught himself and settled back into his customary “grouchy morning look” as Connor had begun calling it when he was talking to Sumo and thought Hank couldn’t hear and made his way over trying to hide his smile as the other immediately launched into a cheerful rambling greeting. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Later that night they arrived back at the house and Hank shuffled back to his room to change into his lounge clothes as Connor swapped into one of his growing collection of sweaters. He was about to toss his pants on the bed when a faint crackling alerted him to there being something in his pocket. Confused he dug into his pocket and smiled as he pulled out the stack of sticky notes from the counter this morning. 

He placed them on his dresser and after changing into his lounge clothes he pulled out a old beaten wood box. The word “Dad” was written on the cover in shaking childlike handwriting and he smiled sadly at it for a moment before taking a deep breath and cracking the lid.

The inside was filled with childish drawings and old father’s day cards as well as some worn photos and trinkets. A box of treasures Cole had called it when he had presented it to Hank, to keep things that make you happy. He just stood there for a few minutes blinking away tears before he finally was able to smile and carefully picked up the stack of notes and placed them gently on top of the other stuff. 

It took him less time to close the box and pull himself together and once he had he felt almost lighter. With one last glance at the box he made his way back into the main area as the sounds of Connor banging around in the kitchen met him and filled the old house with a sense of life. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hank had gone to bed a while ago, but Connor found himself still somewhat restless. Carefully dislodging Sumo from his lap he made his way over to the old bookshelf in the corner and grabbed a worn hardback from the section Hank had designated his after finding out that Connor enjoyed reading like he did. Connor ran his finger over the creased and fraying spines just enjoying the feel of them for a moment before he pulled out the most tattered book and made his way back over to the couch.

It was the first book that he had ever read after becoming a free person. Hank had been trying to find something he liked and had given him this book as a present of sorts. The faded gold text read, _“The Sherlock Holmes Collection”_. Though Connor had initially been skeptical he had found that he enjoyed the book a lot, despite being able to calculate the endings in some cases. 

By the third read of the book it had become more of a calming habit than an actual pastime, but he found he enjoyed it just as much. Hank had gotten him other books since this one, but he found himself constantly pulling this one from the shelf. 

It made no logical sense, but he felt more inclined to this book then the others. When he had questioned Hank on the feeling the other had laughed and told him it was something called sentimentality. He had researched the word and after reading the definition found that he agreed with the assessment.

As he opened the cover a piece of paper fell out and he caught it before it hit the ground, replacing it at the top of the stack of similar papers that cluttered the front of the book. He supposed sentimentality was also the reason for the papers that he stored here. Each a note left for him by the Lieutenant. Some were only a few sentences long, while others were merely a word jotted down, but they elicited the same response in his systems as the book so he keeps them all. 

Carefully settling back into the worn couch Connor waited for Sumo to resume his previous position on his lap before he flipped to the first page and began reading.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know Connor looked up motivational notes and phrases to use so he got it right.


	3. Volunteering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Headcannon: Hank keeps telling Connor that he needs to get out of the house more and to find something he enjoys doing to do on his off days so Connor starts volunteering with the local animal shelters in the dog section.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one got a little long. Hope you guys like it!!

**Detroit Police Department  
12:44 PM**

The bustle of the Bullpen was a familiar ambience as Connor and Hank dutifully made their way through the stack of reports they were meant to finish from the previous weeks cases.

Connor had already finished more than enough to appease Fowler and now sat staring at a single document subtly fiddling with his coin under his desk.

He had been giving thought to something the Lieutenant had said the previous night after they had gotten home.

The gruff detective had once again brought up the question of Connor’s likes to which he still only had a few things. 

_“You need to find a hobby kid! You’re too young to just be going to work and home! When I was your age I was out with my friends every night partying or hanging out, playing sports, you gotta live a little!”_

_“Lieutenant-”_

_“Hank.”_

_“Hank I’m not allowed to play sports.”_

_“Okay well what about your revolution buddies? Can’t you hang out with them?”_

Connor had been silent at that before brushing it off with a vague maybe and changed the subject.

Markus at least had always made sure to try to include him and call him a friend, but Connor couldn’t help but feel like it was more out of obligation then anything. It wasn’t super apparent, but Connor could tell he still made a lot of the others nervous. It seemed that even now his reputation proceeds him, and he felt that clenching feeling in his bio components whenever he saw the other’s weary glances and subtle shifts away from him. A search told him that it was likely a combination of guilt and regret. He didn’t like that feeling so he tried to avoid Jericho so he wouldn’t have to feel it as much. 

But that still left him with the open question of what he could do with his spare time. He had no problem with simply going to work and home with the occasional shopping trips, it was a nice lull from the constant action and objectives of Cyberlife. The lieutenant, however, seemed very insistent on the matter and Connor after some calculations had found that there was a discouraging 10% chance that the stubborn human would let the issue go so he found himself in search of a “hobby”.

Lieutenant Anderson had wandered off to get lunch as Connor found himself researching possible hobbies. 

A few sounded interesting, but he hadn’t found one that felt right yet or met his qualifications. A cleared throat pulled him from his search and he blinked his eyes open to find an officer standing near the front of his desk. 

...SCANNING….

…

….OFFICER GABRIEL WILSON…

….

STATUS - FRIEND

…

After android laws concerning employment had been established allowing for Connor to return to his position at the DPD Officer Wilson had been the first to welcome him back warmly and had since always made a point to interact with Connor or have lunch with him during breaks. His seeming friendliness had led to other officers beginning to not only accept his new status as an equal, but for some to also make their own overtures at friendship. Connor found himself always enjoying his chats with the man and had long since filed him into his list of friends. 

“Hey Connor, couldn’t help but notice you seemed kinda out of it, what’s got you so preoccupied today?”

The other officer grabbed an open chair and pulled it over to Connor’s desk, leaning back as he opened his salad. 

“The Lieutenant wishes for me to find a hobby or something to occupy my free time, but as I have never had to do so before I am finding it...difficult.” 

Wilson nodded.

“Seems like a good idea, helps you relax and take your mind off things. What’s giving you trouble?”

Connor thought for a moment how to place his problem into words before he answered hesitantly.

“From what I have research about the concept most people pick a hobby that correlates with their likes and interests, but despite no longer being ruled by my coding I have yet to give much thoughts to such concepts as like and dislike, as such I don’t have a base for my search.”

Wilson seemed to consider this as he chewed on a forkful of greens.

“Huh, well even if you haven’t thought about it much you must have some things that you would consider likable?”

Their conversation seemed to have attracted attention as Officer Tina Chen plopped down in Hank’s abandoned chair. 

“You’re thinking too hard about this Connor. A hobby is just that, a hobby, it doesn’t require skill or knowledge or even a proper reason for you picking it, as long as you enjoy doing it.”

Connor turned to look over at the female officer his facial recognition software automatically scanning her.. 

….SCANNING..

……..

..OFFICER TINA CHEN..

…..

STATUS - WARM

Wilson was nodding along with her statement as Connor thought for a moment about the man’s earlier question his LED spinning yellow. 

**QUERY: LIKES?**

...PROCESSING…

….

..UNABLE TO DEFINE SEARCH TERM…

REFINE SEARCH?...

 

Chen must have seen him struggling to come up with a response because she interrupted his processing. 

“What if we told you some of our hobbies and maybe one of them will interest you or help you figure something out?”

Connor contemplated that for a moment before nodding.

“That may be beneficial.”

Wilson leaned forward putting his lunch down.

“Okay, guess I’ll start? Well there isn’t a lot of time on weekdays so usually when I get home I play video games or go out to the bar with some of my old academy friends. As far as hobbies, uh, I collect old comic books and have actually gotten into photography lately. I don’t know if that helps.”

Wilson shrugs and gestures to Chen who grins and leans on the desk.

“I’m not really into collecting stuff, I do my hobbies as more of a stress reliever ya’know? I try to do yoga and CrossFit as often as possible, it’s a good way to burn off energy and just push yourself. I like jogging and have started trying to grow some plants on the roof of my apartment which is kind of fun. You might like gardening Connor.”

Connor nods a little contemplating it, but the others can tell his heart isn’t really in it at the moment.

Wilson thinks for a second before asking.

“Well what do the other android do for fun?”

Connor starts to answer before he stops. He doesn’t actually know. He ever asked the few times he saw them.

“I never asked. I believe Markus paints and plays piano, but I am unaware if any of the others have taken up any pastimes.”

Chen and Wilson share a look before all three of them sit in silence for a few minutes.

Finally, Wilson perks up.

“Wait! Connor the first day you were here didn’t you tell Anderson you liked dogs?”

Connor nods remembering that he had indeed stated that.

“I did, but at the time I was simply attempting to engage the Lieutenant in conversation, I did not have the capacity to like at that point in time.”

“Ya, but I know the Lieutenant has a dog, do you like him? What was his name?”

“Sumo, and yes I enjoy his demeanor and soft fur, he is very pleasant to be around.”

Chen looks up at him and grins.

“Well there you go! You like dogs so why don’t you do something with them? I think the local shelter is looking for volunteers to help, why don’t you volunteer at the dog shelter down the street?”

Connor had never considered volunteering before. Curious he searches the nearby shelters.

**QUERY: ANIMAL SHELTER VOLUNTEER?**

...SEARCHING…

….

ANALYSING RESULTS.

…….

...COMPARING QUALIFICATIONS…….

….

.95% COMPATIBLE MATCH..

His LED flickered frantically as he went through the application and requirements before finally he opened his eyes to look back at the two eager officers.

“I believe I will apply to work at the shelter on weekends I think I will like it.”

The two officers whoop’ed and slapped a high five, but the little celebration was cut short by the return of a confused and disgruntled Anderson who stood behind Chen with his arms crossed. 

“Since when is my desk a public gathering place? Get the hell out of my chair Chen, don’t you have a report to finish?” 

Chen gave a sheepish grin as she got out of the chair with a quick “sorry Lieutenant” and Wilson stood up as well to go back to his desk with a wave at Connor. 

Hank slumped into his chair and watched the two leave before turning a suspicious stare on the android who had innocently gone back to reading files.

“So, what the hell was that about?”

“Nothing Lieutenant, Officers Chen and Wilson were simply helping me work through some thoughts.”

Hank raised an eyebrow at that. He had noticed that some of the officers had started to interact with Connor in a friendlier manner and even in the case of some, like Chen and Wilson, a friend. He was glad the kid seemed to finally be making some friends, but he also couldn’t help but fell a little protective over his somewhat terrifyingly naive partner. 

“Oh ya? What kind of thoughts.”

Connor finally looked up at him.

“Ones concerning our discussion last night about my possible hobbies.”

“Oh, figure something out?”

“Perhaps, I will let you know.”

Hank knew that was the end of that conversation so with a huff he went back to his own work as Connor continued to quietly fill out a volunteer application. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------  
**Michigan Humane Society Pet Adoption  
8:30 AM**

Connor had received an email about his application approximately 34 hours 5 minutes and 46 seconds after submitting his application. The volunteer coordinator for the shelter, a woman named Dixie, had asked him to come in Saturday morning just after opening to talk more about his possible work there and also run a short trial period to see if it suited him.

He now stood before the building having taken the bus to get here, luckily it wasn’t far from the house. He had been told to come in clothes he didn’t mind getting dirty, however, he had yet to find a need to go shopping for anything other than his uniform for the DPD and his jacket and sweaters. As a result, he had borrowed some of the Lieutenant’s old jeans and a t-shirt. 

His request had brought on some questions from the older detective, but Connor had simply stated that he was going out and the weather was warmer, so he didn’t want to wear a sweater. Hank’s level of suspicion had risen to 40% but had eventually relented and given him the requested clothes, though he was now trapped in a promise to go shopping with the other man tomorrow.

Stepping through the doors he could already hear the sound of barking dogs from the back of the building as he approached the front desk. A young man looked up from his tablet and smiled at Connor.

….ANALYZING….  
ROBIN TREST

**END ANALYSIS**

….ANALYSIS ENDED..

“Hi, welcome to the Michigan Humane Society, are you looking to adopt?”

“No, I submitted a volunteer application and was contacted by a woman named Dixie who wanted me to come today. Is she here?”

The man nodded and after giving a quick “just one moment” disappeared into the back for a moment before a woman came out.

Connor forcefully stopped his facial recognition program, Hank had been insisting lately that he should try not to use it outside of work for the DPD, claiming it was ‘rude’. Connor had agreed to try.

As he suspected the woman introduced herself as Dixie and after a brief exchange they moved to a side door where her office was located. 

What followed was long more in-depth interview to see if he was a “fit for the job”. Connor answered truthfully to all the questions and half an hour later had a small nametag pinned to his shirt and was being led into the back of the building. 

As a new volunteer Dixie had asked him to simply exercise the dogs in the yard behind the building as their kennels were cleaned. He had agreed readily, feeling his thirium pump begin to speed up in anticipation as they approached the door to the dog kennels.

**SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^**

The door opened and suddenly his audio processors were nearly overwhelmed by the sound of dogs. Barking, whining, cages jingling and claws on cement all mixed into a cacophony of sound, but Connor couldn’t care less because his processor had stuttered to a stop at the sight of all the dogs. 

There were dozens of breeds all different shapes, sizes, colors, ages his scanner desperately jumped from one to another as his face split into the biggest smile he had ever felt and his thirium pump worked in overdrive. 

**SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^**

**SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^**

**SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^**

He shut off the warnings as Dixie led them down the hall, Connor elated as he got to see each dog closer as they passed.

**PRIMARY OBJECTIVE: PET DOGS**

**SUB OBJECTIVE: PLAY WITH DOGS**

It took every ounce of his self-control to ignore the frantically flashing objectives as he forced himself to listen to Dixie as she explained what he would need to do. According to her the kennels were divided into sections and he would take one section at a time into the back exercise yards and entertain them while other volunteers cleaned the kennels.

He waited impatiently, he had never felt impatient before, _COMMAND: FILE FOR LATER ANALYSIS_ , for Dixie to finish before he made his way into the back area and waited for the dogs to be released. 

He had barely had a chance to begin to scan the many toys in the area before there was a series of clicks and suddenly a pack of dogs were racing towards him. 

Without even stopping to process or analyze the situation Connor dropped to his knees and .49 seconds later was engulfed in excited wriggling canines.

Connor may finally understand what Hank meant when he spoke of the human’s phrase Heaven on Earth.

**SOFTWARE INSTABILITY^**

What followed were the best _COMMAND: COMPILE LIST OF ENJOYED TIMEFRAMES._ 4 hours 2 minutes 12 seconds of Connors existence. Each new wave of canines sent his Thirium pump and regulator into a desperate frenzy and his facial nerves and muscles felt strained by the time the last group was put away.

Afterwards Dixie brought him back into the office and gave him a team shirt and the final paperwork to sign. He spent the rest of the time there working with the other volunteers to bath and groom incoming recues.

The work was dirty and some of the dogs were scared and aggressive, but he quickly found that many of the more vicious ones were more at ease around him which is why he ended up taking care of those dogs himself, finding that after they were cleaned and shown affection they were much friendlier. His system was flooded with warmth and by the end of the day he felt extremely accomplished and…happy? 

By the end of his shift he was soapy and wet, but he was grinning ear to ear and laughing with some of the other volunteers as they headed out. He also signed up to return the next weekend and promised to come by to help if he ever had some time off.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**Home  
6:20 PM**

He was still smiling when he walked in the door of Hank’s home 20 minutes later. Hank heard him come in and noticed, smiling softly at the happy looking disheveled android as Sumo sniffed him up and down excitedly. 

“Good evening Lieu- Hank!”

“Hey kid, have a good day?”

Hank was ready for the kid to give him an analytical sounding report of what he had done all day, so he was floored when the younger man simply smiled harder and replied.

“Yes!”

Hank sat there stunned as the other made his way out of the room and was still trying to pull himself together when Connor returned ten minutes later looking freshly showered wearing a pair of Hank’s lounge pants and an oversized DPD sweatshirt Hank had lent him a little while back while his uniform was being repaired from a case. 

Hank was about to say something when the kid plopped, honest to god plopped onto the couch next to him. No careful perching on the edge or stiff recline back, he just dropped onto the cushions with a little thump and bounce and brought his legs up to his chest, a soft smile on his face as he turned his attention to the old sitcom Hank had on.

Hank stared for a moment longer before slowly turning back to the TV, grabbing his beer and swallowing the rest in one gulp. He couldn't process this right now. He would process this some other time. Ya, maybe in a few days or so. Ya that’s it. 

Later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Connor's volunteering will return!!


	4. Clothes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor goes on that promised shopping trip for clothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god you guys we hit over 100 kudos!!!!! Thank you so much to everyone who has read and all the lovely people who left kudos, comments and subscribed/bookmarked, you guys are the reason I continue to write this stuff!!!
> 
> Here's to you!
> 
> Headcannon: Connor keeps just wearing Hank’s clothes because he doesn’t understand fashion and likes how comfy they are, but Hank makes him buy some of his own.

**Shopping Center  
11:44 AM **

Connor stood just inside the entrance of the shopping center, his scanner flickering from one thing to another as his system registered all the details around him. Next to him the Lieutenant also stood observing their surroundings, though for a different reason.

“All right let’s get this over with, come on.”

Connor pulled himself out of scanning as he followed the other man down the hall sticking close to him to avoid losing him in the crowds.

“Lieutenant I-”

“Connor.”

Connor huffed out breath before amending his statement. 

“Hank I don’t really understand why we are here. I already have a sufficient amount of clothing therefore it’s not practical or necessary for me to own more.”

Hank glared at him for a moment before turning away and continuing to look at store signs. This was an old argument that had been going on since a few days after the revolution and Hank had finally realized he wasn’t going to out reason the other, so he would just have to force the stupid android to listen to him by not giving him a choice.

“For the last time you stubborn ass it isn’t about needing clothes it’s about having something of your own and allowing you to express yourself! Also, you don’t have enough clothes, or you won’t be wearing mine constantly.”

Connor’s LED spun yellow for a moment as he continued to follow the Lieutenant before he finally answered.

“I have all the clothing I require for working.”

“Your stupid issued uniform is not enough clothing for anything.”

“And! I have the sweaters and jacket that you gave me! Lieutenant from what I have researched owning many pairs of clothing is considered more a show of vanity then practicality-”

“For God’s sake kid is it such a crime to not be completely practical? Listen Connor I know you are new to this and it is probably hard to adjust your entire way of thinking, but as someone who has been at this for a long time I can promise that you need to own some actual clothes, I’m talking full outfits that you like and you want to wear.”

Connor processed that for a moment his LED blinking before spinning back to blue as he turned to look at Hank who after seeing a look of understanding on the android’s face started to smile a little, until the kid opened his mouth.

“I see, but Lieu-Hank if the requirement for the clothing I wear is simply something that I like and want to wear then why can’t I continue to wear your clothing?” 

Hank’s face falls into a scowl as Connor continues to explain his reasoning. 

“What I am wearing currently is very comfortable and allows easy movement and breathability in the heat. They are not too small, and they smell and feel nice and used.”

Hank was quiet as he took a deep breath and counted backwards for a moment. Once he had fully curbed the urge to shake the painfully logical idiot in front of him he pulled them towards a store, stopping Connor just before they could enter. 

“Connor you can’t just wear my clothes. For one thing they are huge on you, how many times did you have to cuff those jeans and that shirt for it to even come close to fitting you?”

Connor looked down at the dark jeans and long-sleeved band shirt he had stolen from Hank’s closet this morning. Even with a belt and generous cuffing both bagged off his slimmer frame making him look like a kid playing dress up. Hank tried desperately to push away the thought of how adorable the kid looked in the saggy worn clothes with that innocent confused expression. 

This kid was too damn pure for this world.

“I don’t see how that’s a factor-”

“It is. You need some clothes that fit you. Plus, I’m old Connor, you need to wear stuff more appropriate for your age! Listen, please just trust me on this okay?”

Connor seemed like he was about to argue more, the stubborn brat was probably gonna remind Hank he didn’t have an age, but finally he gave a gusty sigh and nodded his affirmation. God the kid was getting more human like every day. 

Hank grinned in triumph and finally lead the way into the store. It was a trendy looking place with pop music playing and fancy displays. As soon as he entered Hank felt extremely out of place, when the hell did he get so old?

Connor was also looking around in confusion, LED yellow once more and spinning frantically as he took in the huge amount of clothes before him. 

“Hank, some of these items are rather...expensive.”

Hank glanced a nearby price tag and resisted the urge to baulk knowing that the kid would use it as an excuse to not buy anything.

“It’s fine. Look around and find some things you like, don’t even look at the prices okay? They don’t matter.”

Connor nodded distractedly looking a little lost as he wandered into the racks as Hank tried to subtly check his bank account. Whelp there went the rest of his drinking money for this paycheck and any nonessentials, oh well it was for Connor, so it was worth it. 

Hank loitered near the entrance, eventually taking a seat on a bench as he waited for Connor to pick some things out. 

Twenty minutes later Hank glanced up to see Connor approaching, with a single black beanie in his hands. Confused he stood up to greet the kid, who he now realized looked kind of stressed and overwhelmed.

“Everything okay Connor?”

Connor started to nod before he stopped and after a second slowly shook his head, averting his eyes. 

“I just, I don’t know what I’m doing? I’ve never had to pick out clothing for myself before and there are so many options.”

Hank couldn’t even be mad, the android looked so confused and discouraged and Hank had to admit the number of options in this store alone was a little much. 

“Okay okay don’t sweat it, how about we ask one of the workers to help you? I don’t know anything about young people fashion now a days, so they can probably help you a lot more.”

Connor nodded looking a little less like a sad puppy as Hank flagged down a young worker who was stocking shelves. 

“Excuse me miss?”

The girl looked probably around college age and immediately plastered on a grin, replying with a cheerful, “Hi my names Jess, how can I help you?”

“Listen my friend here needs to get a whole new wardrobe, but he’s pretty new to the whole fashion thing, you think you could pick him out a few outfits?”

Jess looked a little confused at his wording until he gestured to Connor and she caught sight of his blinking LED a look of understanding crossing her features.

“Oh, oh of course!”

She made her way over to an awkward looking Connor.

“Hey my name’s Jess. So, your friend said you needed some help putting together a new wardrobe?”

Connor appeared startled that he was the one being addressed before ducking his head sheepishly and fiddling with his coin a little.

“Oh, um nice to meet you, my name is Connor and yes it seems I require assistance?”

Jess nodded and looked him up and down for a moment before nodding.

“This is going to be a piece of cake, you have already have a perfect body so basically anything would fit you, plus you aren’t hard on the eyes by a long shot. Okay any styles you absolutely refuse to wear?”

Connor immediately shook his head.

“No, I haven’t had much of a chance to experience many styles so there are none that I particularly like or dislike. I will trust your judgment.”

Jess absolutely beamed at this and turned to Hank.

“I’ve got this, how many outfits you want me to give him? Are we talking a head to toe deal or just a shirt and pants combo? Also, what occasions should I cover?”

Hank considered this for a moment.

“I’m taking him to get some more business and formal clothes after this so let’s just go with six full outfits and some shirts and jeans he can just throw on?”

“Okay!”

“That’s too much!”

Hank and Jess turned to look at Connor one in exasperation and the other in confusion. Uncomfortable from his outburst and the sudden attention it brought Connor looked down and a faint blue tinted his cheeks.

“Hank there is really no reason for me to own that many clothing.”

The older detective huffed and turned to Jess.

“Go ahead and get him all that because this kid deserves it whether he thinks he does or not. And I won’t take no for an answer!”

The last part was directed back at the fidgeting android who tried to argue again, but Jess grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the back of the store. Once they were out of sight of Hank she stopped and turned to look at him.

“Listen, I think I get it, you’re an android right? You probably aren’t used to having anything but what you need to function, and it probably seems like all this other stuff is a waste of time or money.”

Connor finally looks at her directly and nods with a look of relief in his eyes because she understood. She returns his smile with a sad one.

“I know that it’s hard to understand why all this is necessary, but I can tell you one thing, that guy back there? Your friend? He really cares about you, like a lot and he really wants you to be happy and feel like you are your own person and honestly that’s pretty rare even now. So I’ll tell you what, let me pick out some awesome outfits for you, you try them on and find the ones you like and we’ll show him. When we do I want you to look at his expression. After that you can put them all back and we can find some really simple cheap clothes for you if you want, but I want you to do this first, okay?”

Connor processed this for a moment before nodding slowly in assent. Jess smiled brightly at him and quickly lead him towards a rack of clothing already rambling about the different styles she wanted him to try. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hank was scrolling through his phone almost an hour later when Jess came over to him grinning.

“We’re done!”

“Ya? Where is he?”

Hank pushed himself up and pocketed his phone looking around for the kid when someone tapped him on the shoulder. Turning Hank froze in shock at the sight before him. It was Connor, but like he had never seen before. 

Jess had put him in a pair of fitted dark blue jeans and black, worn, work boots. He wore a plain white v-neck shirt covered in a black leather jacket with a black and white flannel tied around his waist. The beanie the kid had picked out on his own earlier sat snuggly on his head, though Jess had pulled it back and some of the kid’s curly hair tufted from the front. 

Connor himself was looking down and fiddling with the flannel a little, but finally looked up and met Hank’s eyes, seeming started at what he saw. 

Hank was confused why for a moment before he realized that he was smiling genuinely at the kid, his entire posture relaxed as he looked at the young man before him with his entire chest swelling with affection. Like this, no one would ever think this kid had once been a brutal deviant hunting prototype android. Instead he looked like a normal young adult and Hank’s mind immediately brought up a comparison to Cole and how this would have been what it was like to watch his boy grow up. 

“You look great kid, how’s it feel?”

Connor seemed to blink back to focus and stuttered a little for a moment, before finally looking Hank in the eyes again and smiling.

“I like it. It makes me feel...nice.”

Hank couldn’t even hold back the look of pride that flashed across his face at that statement as Jess clapped happily off to the side.

“We already picked out his other outfits and some other clothes he can mix and match.”

Hank nodded and made his way over to the register with her where she had already stacked the rest of his clothes. A quick transaction later and Hank had four large bags and a smile on his face as he thanked her for her help and made his way back to Connor. 

“Come on kid we still need to get you some more dress shirts and formals.”

He expected the stubborn idiot to argue with him about getting more, but instead Connor surprised him by nodding and smiling brightly at him.

“Okay. Thank you, Hank!”

Hank looked at him for a minute before nodding and leading them out in the direction of the other store. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
 **Home  
12:02 AM**

Later that night Hank had already gone to bed and Sumo had joined him, but Connor found himself staring at the open door of the hall closet. Inside hung all his new shirts and pants, the bottom lined with several pairs of shoes and a small bin containing various accessories Jess had paired with the outfits such as the beanie and some ties. 

This was all his.

He owned these.

They were his and he didn’t need them.

But he liked them. He wanted them. They felt nice and made him feel nice.

He had been ready to back out and tell Jess to put them all back, but then he had looked at the Lieutenant’s face. He had used his scanner even to try to determine the look the other was giving him, but he had ended up turning it off because it couldn't give him any data. Despite that, however, he had found himself knowing the expression. 

Hank had looked at him with a soft expression that he usually only made when he thought Connor wasn’t paying attention, that gentle turn of his lips and crow’s feet around his eyes. The expression when he would tell Connor a story about Cole when he was younger. 

Connor didn’t know what the emotion was really. It was like fondness, but it seemed more than that, Connor hoped he would one day learn what it was. 

Quietly closing the door, he finally settled in for the night. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
 **Manfred Residence  
10:23 AM**

Markus looked up as he heard the doorbell ring. Around him North, Josh and Simon also paused in their conversations to look over towards the front of the house. Markus immediately rose and began to make his way towards the foyer.

“Who is it?”

North called starting to rise. They had begun to use Carl’s home as a base of operations going forwards since Carl had insisted that Markus and Leo were free to stay anytime they wanted. They had been working towards a more stable political side of the time going forwards, all four of them spending hours making speeches, scheduling interviews and meetings with the necessary people to try to gain equality for their people in the eyes of the law. 

“I invited Connor to come over today to help with creating the next speech, you know how good he is at coming up with arguments and predicting what other’s responses will be to our points. He’s a good practice audience.”

“True, man I almost wish he hadn’t been allowed back into the DPD he would have been great at negotiating some of this legal stuff. The guy was practically made for politics.”

Josh chimed in as the other two nodded.

“Ya, but he seems like he likes his job, plus the fact that he managed to get a job at all is impressive, I mean he got around the laws about us not having jobs and is getting paid and everything!”

They had all been shocked when they had seen the news that Connor had been reinstated into the DPD as a legal employee and detective. 

Markus nodded as he left the room and made his way to the door. He leaned forward and opened the door a friendly greeting already on his lips. The he actually saw Connor.

The other looked like an entirely new person. He was dressed in dark jeans and a band shirt with boots and a leather jacket. His normally slicked hair was curly and lose and Markus felt himself freeze.

He looked completely human.  
If it weren’t for the flickering LED on the side of his head Markus thought, he could pass as one on the streets. 

He realized he was just staring at the other and Connor’s smile was gone now, and he looked nervous. 

“Sorry, your new looked startled me, please come in!”

Connor looked up from where he had directed his gaze at his boots and nodded smiling again as he made his way inside. 

“Yes, I imagine I look quite different from what you’re used to. Hank took me shopping and a shop worker helped me to find some clothing. It feels odd to be out of my usual uniform...oh, I hope I don’t look to unprofessional.”

Markus glanced down at the old shirt and faded jeans he was sporting and then purposely looked back at the other with a raised eyebrow causing Connor to smirk. 

The two entered the other room and there was an immediate response, the loudest being North’s wolf whistle as the other two spluttered a little. None of them quite being able to comprehend the normally professional looking detective dressed down to this extent. 

Connor himself was blushing furiously at the attention as he made his way over to a chair and sank onto it awkwardly. 

“Um, yes as I informed Markus I was taken shopping yesterday and as such have updated my apparel to a more casual appearance.”

The others had finally quieted down and everyone had regained their seats. Simon and Josh were already grabbing papers and such and moved closer to Connor, but North couldn’t just let something like this slip.

“Well you look great Connor, that style really suits you!”

She grinned as he blushed harder and thanked her quietly as the other three smiled and offered agreement and their own compliments. 

“Okay, Connor do you want us to start our speech as you pose as an opposing politician?”

At the detective’s nod they all turned their seats in to a circle and started working through the speech.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all liked it! <3
> 
> I've kept it pretty fluffy so far with just little hints to more serious problems, but I'm thinking of addressing some my thoughts on that soon.
> 
> Have a lovely day!


	5. Signature

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Headcannon: Connor hates his handwriting because it reminds him of CyberLife and wants to have a unique style and signature.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG you guys the amount of love you are giving this story is blowing my mind!!! I am so fricken grateful to every single person who takes the time to read this!

**Detroit Police Central Station  
1:33 PM **

Connor stared at the report before him with a light frown on his face. The station’s systems were down for the day for updates and maintenance and as such everyone at the DPD had been forced to resort to the old-fashioned way of paper and pen. The sound of pen’s scratching away on reports and pages being turned was a new sound to the android, but he found he quite liked it. The sound so organic and repetitive and just so human.

Due to his advanced processing and ability to connect to any available networks instantly Connor had never had much use for writing. He of course knew how as it was a preset skill in every model should there ever be a need, however, this was the first time Connor had filled out paperwork by hand.

It was an enjoyable and somewhat humbling experience. Like with most things he was able to write and complete the documents faster than his organic co-workers but compared to his usual mental reports and diagnostics the drag of the ballpoint across the paper and having to construct each letter was astoundingly slow feeling. 

Connor couldn’t help but wonder if this is what it felt like to Hank when the man was trying to submit a report and that was why the other disliked doing such. He found he could understand the older detective’s reluctance a little more now. 

After the first few pages of documents had been filled, however, Connor began to notice something that caused him to dislike the paperwork more. Throughout the day he had read many of the reports written by other officers and Lieutenant Anderson as well and he had begun to notice just how different each individual’s writing style was. The Lieutenant had a surprisingly legible, slanted script like style that often seemed to resemble traditional cursive, while Captain Fowler’s writing was sharp and bunched together as though he had written it in a hurry, and detective Reed maintained a blockier font. 

He began to be able to tell who had written a report based solely on looking at the writing style it was something he had never really taken the time to notice. Each paper that came across his desk unique to its author. He looked at one of his own reports.

…. ANALYSING…..

…….  
..TEXT FONT IDENTIFIED….

…….

….CYBERLIFE SANS…

Like every android produced by Cyberlife his own writing was perfectly spaced and sized like he had typed the report and printed it. His LED spun yellow as he stared at the perfect writing with a feeling he had discovered a few weeks ago, disgust. He felt disgusted when he looked at the blocky text that he had been programmed with, the default style he had been assigned by his creators. The same exact style that every android used. 

He was free from Cyberlife now and each day he was trying to become his own person, but there always seemed to be little things, things like this, that dogged his progress. A constant reminder that at his core he wasn’t special, wasn’t unique, wasn’t even a person. He was a tool that didn’t have a unique style that he had learned and developed over his lifetime, that was his alone, he had a program that guided his hand in his printer perfect lines across the page.

Frustrated he pushed aside his own reports and went back to reading and filing other officers finished not wanting to see the mockingly perfect text anymore. 

He managed to go the rest of the day without having to write anymore reports.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Manfred Residence  
8:41 PM **

The next time he thought about his writing style was when he was sitting with Markus’ inner circle pouring over stacks of legal documents that they needed to read and amend and sign before sending them back to their respective offices. 

Connor, being a member of law enforcement, had been tasked to look through the more complex documents to search for any loopholes, fine prints or anything that would slip the notice of someone who didn’t have massive knowledge of human court and law. 

After making note of any concerning statements he would then work with Josh and Markus to make changes to the wording before the group would put it in a pile to go over again one last time before Markus signed it.

Markus, Simon and North were simultaneously going over questions, writing responses and scheduling meetings and interviews and handling the more public side of the negotiations for android laws and rights. They had found out that this was a far more efficient way to handle the many tasks. 

Due to Connor’s full-time position within the DPD it was often that he spent at least one night a week locked up with the other four going through the next round of documents. 

As he was reading a document over he caught sight of an annotation off to the side asking Connor his opinion on the wording of a particular statement in the agreement. It took a moment for the detective to realize why this statement in particular stood out to him.

...ANALYSING FONT…

……

..NO MATCHES FOUND…..

….

RESCAN?

**NO**

...SEARCH CANCELLED…

Connor cocked his head in confusion as he stared at the writing harder. The only people who had handled this document were in this room, but as androids they all had their default Cyberlife Sans. 

Markus who was coming back from where he had gone to the desk to grab another packet of documents seemed to notice his confusion and stopped to lean over Connor’s shoulder and look at the document in question. 

“Oh, I know that you usually handle the more legal jargon, but that sentence seemed like it was worded deceptively, but I couldn’t figure out a better way of wording it to make sure that it couldn't be misinterpreted. I was hoping you might have some insight?”

Connor frowned harder at the writing before looking up at the other android.

“You mean you wrote this?”

Markus nodded looking confused as well now.

“Yes, I made the annotation early today. Why? Is something wrong?”

Connor’s LED was blinking a soft yellow as he shook his head and he couldn’t help but voice his confusion.   
“No, nothing is wrong per say. You were right to flag this sentence as it does appear to be worded with the intention of being able to have a looser interpretation in favor of the investor, however, I was more intrigued by the writing style. I’ve never encountered a case of an android using anything, but Cyberlife Sans.”

Connor watched a soft smile spread across the older android’s face. 

“Ah suppose it is a little unusual. You have Carl to blame for that I’m afraid. One of the first things he did when I came to him was teach me how to be more free with my expression. He said he hated seeing me forced to use such a rigid style of writing and drawing. He told me you could tell a lot about a person from their handwriting and signature, so he had me shut off my program and relearn how to write without using my program. I still ended up emulating his own writing a little, but eventually I grew into my own style, it would be hard for me to go back to my default style again now. Plus, it has become a useful skill now that I am signing legal documentation, my signature isn’t as easily replicated as if I was still using Cyberlife Sans.”

Connor was surprised. Not so much by the fact that Markus’ father would have insisted on Markus breaking from the rigidness of his program, that seemed very in character for the elderly man from what he had heard of him. From a legal standpoint this also made a lot of sense. But for an android to learn a skill rather than just downloading it before deviancy, well it was practically unheard of from what Connor knew.

“You can just turn off your programming on certain skills and relearn them?”

Markus nodded.

“Sure, it’s not something many see as a good use of their time which is why most androids probably don’t bother, but Carl was rather insistent, and I find it’s rather freeing to have a unique signature, it helps me maintain a sense of self.”

“Well it makes sense for you, but you seem to forget that not everyone has as advanced a processor as you RK’s. For me to shut off my programming like that I would probably have to just delete that data pathway.”

Connor looked away from Markus as Simon spoke up. Josh was nodding as well. 

“He’s right, I tried to delete my writing defaults, so I would be able to help out a little more with the paperwork a few weeks ago, but my systems wouldn’t let me. That code is tied in pretty tightly with my language processors. For my model to delete those lines of code I would run the risk of losing some of my language comprehension which in our position wouldn’t be ideal.”

“Same with me, my system has a more advanced motor functions, but that means that they just sort of lumped my other more general fine motor skills into one big block of coding. I could lose all my fine motor functions if I delete that. I don’t like it, but I don’t see a reason to risk it.”

North looked a little disgruntled as she explained but seemed to push it away a moment later. Markus meanwhile was looking thoughtful. 

“Hmm, if I was able to do it, I don’t see why you wouldn’t be able to Connor, if you wanted that is. Your processors and code are more advanced than mine, so it might even be easier for you.” 

Connor nodded slowly as he considered this and the other’s got back to work. He had never really attempted to alter his code before other than during the times he was deleting any traces of Amanda’s program from his systems, but even then, most of that code had been contained separate from his main code. This would be far more difficult and precise. Was it really worth the risk?

He found himself considering that question long into the night as he absentmindedly read “The Hound of the Baskerville” to Sumo.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It wasn’t until two days later that his mind was made up. He and the Lieutenant stood in Fowler’s office staring at a packet of paperwork. It had taken weeks to draw up the final draft and had gone through rounds upon round of approval. Every level of authority had reviewed and adjusted and signed this piece of writing and it had finally made its way back to the central station.

The black and white text stared up at Connor as he stared down at the piece of paper it had been flipped to with a date and signature line sitting blank at its base. 

For formality they had forgone a digital signature and opted for a hard copy that would be scanned into the system later.

He had never thought this day would come.

With one last signature of consent, he would legally be initiated into the Detroit Police force as a law enforcement officer and registered detective and hold all the rights and authority that title would grant him. He would be the first android to hold legal employment not just in a government position, but anywhere. This signature would mark a huge milestone for his people all around the nation.

He clenched the pen in his hand as the blank signature line taunted him. Hank stared at him in confusion as he visibly hesitated and shared a shrug with Fowler.

“Everything okay kid?”

He couldn’t do it. This was too important to sign with his generic Cyberlife San’s signature. No, he would sign this with his own signature. 

“Captain when does this document need to be signed by?”

Fowler squinted in confusion and answered slowly.

“I mean, as soon as possible. Why?”

“Permission to take the rest of the day off and sign the document when I arrive tomorrow morning?”

Both Fowler and the Lieutenant stared at him in shock. 

“Wait, what the fuck Connor, why?”

Connor placed the pen back on the desk and looked over at his bewildered partner. 

“There is something I must do before I sign this. Captain do I have your permission to leave early?”

Connor ignored Hank’s confused questioning as he focused his attention on Captain Fowler who, after one more suspicious look, nodded. 

“Thank you, Captain, then I will head home for today. I’ll see you at home Lieutenant.” 

And with that he left the office and headed home as the other two simply watched in disbelief.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Home  
7:57 PM **

Hank walked in the door stopping to greet Sumo before making his way into the living room. What he found was more than a little confusing.

“Uh Connor?”

The android in questions head jerked up to look at the older man.

“Oh, welcome home.”

“Ya, so what’s all this?”

This in reference to the dozens of pieces of paper spread around the living room, all covered in writing. Curious Hank leaned down and grabbed one finding that they were seemingly random phrases all written differently. Some were shaky while others flowed smoothly. Hank grabbed another as Connor looked down and fiddled with the pen in his hand. 

“I recently found out that by deleting my preset language default and coding I could in fact learn to write with my own unique style. Writing in Cyberlife Sans constantly reminds me of my time under their control so I... wanted to have something of my own, something more unique to me a person.”

Connor paused and looked down at the sheet in his hands that Hank could now see was covered in different types of cursive all the same word.

_Connor_

Connor noticed where Hank was looking and gripped the paper a little tighter, a melancholy look on his face. 

“I wanted something that meant so much to me to be signed with my own signature, not something Cyberlife assigned me. I wanted to sign it like a free person.”

“Aw hell kid.”

Hank gave the kids shoulder a tight squeeze as he smiled softly at the android.

“Did you pick the one you liked best?”

“Yes, yes I believe I’ve finally decided on one.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Detroit Police Central Station  
7:10 AM **

The next day Hank watched, chest filled with pride and misty eyes as Connor signed the final documents with his long, looping signature and shook Fowler’s hand smiling harder then Hank had ever seen him.

The young android received his badge a minute later and Hank couldn’t deny the kid when Connor turned around and grabbed him in an enthusiastic hug. 

God, this kid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like it! Cya next chapter~
> 
>  
> 
> PS. I started another story about Connor's integration into the DPD with a more realistic approach to how that would probably go if you wanted to check it out! It's called One of the Team~


	6. Pain (part1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Headcannon: Because Connor is programmed to be able to attack and interact more physically with humans for his job he can feel pain and has super sensitive touch receptors. Amanda and the Zen Garden used to regulate these systems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY SMOKES YOU GUYS WE BROKE 200 KUDOS!!!! I can't even wrap my head around it I literally was crying seeing the response to this story, you guys are the best!!! Thank you to every single person who has read, commented, kudos'd and subscribed to this, you are the reason I keep going.
> 
> As for my extended absence I truly apologize real life got a little hectic around when college was starting back up and I didn't even have a chance to sit down and even read fics let alone write one, but I am back in the zone and should go back to updating pretty often again, same goes for my other stories as well, thank you guys for being patient with me!

**Downtown Detroit  
7:18 A.M **

The sound of pounding footsteps echoed in the small space of the alleyway. Connor pumped his legs faster as he leaned into the run gaining another few inches on the fleeing suspect and watching the percentage of success flicker up in the corner of his eye. Ahead of him the other shoved a trash bin over behind him causing Connor’s processor to whirl to life showing him the available paths. 

….GO AROUND -> SAFE BUT SLOW…..

….JUMP OVER -> FAST BUT RISKY….

He quickened his pace and launched himself over the spilled waste managing to avoid clipping the container with his feet. Even this, however, had slowed him down a fraction. 

The fleeing suspect, Charles Mercer, had been suspected of being part of an android trafficking ring and upon arriving at his residence to bring him in for questioning he had launched an attack on the two detectives and then fled. 

The man was proving to be extremely physically fit, but he couldn’t change that he was a human trying to outrun an android and that by now he would be starting to slow as his endurance ran out. All Connor needed to do now to guarantee a successful apprehension was keep the man in sight and eventually the other would be forced to stop and Connor could arrest the man.

The man certainly knew this as well as he made increasingly abrupt turns and movements as though trying to throw off his pursuer, but it wouldn’t work. Connor did a quick scan of the man ahead of him.

...HEART RATE AT 87%....

…..

SPEED DECREASED BY .534 MPH…

….

….PROBABILITY OF SUCCESS 89%....

The man was almost out of time. Connor pushed himself harder as the man rounded a corner ahead of him. According to his maps of the area they could be entering a dead end lot.

It was over.

Connor rounded the corner and his sensors immediately registered an assault, but unfortunately his momentum wouldn’t allow him to dodge fast enough. 

Warnings and errors exploded across his vision as the man managed to bludgeon him with a large piece of piping that had been left in the lot, cracking the white frame underneath the artificial skin of his right side of his head. 

Usually Connor would simply dismiss the non-critical errors until he had the time to assess them further, but this time he found himself unable as his systems were overwhelmed by a much more concerning issue. 

Air was forced from his artificial lunges in a gasp as he dropped to his knees and his optics turned off momentarily as his cranial nerve simulators and pressure plates seemed to suddenly burn and freeze at the same time causing him to experience an overwhelming sensation of wrongness and static and...pain?

Connor frantically tried to pull himself to his feet as his systems continues to attempt to overwhelm him but was knocked to the ground again as the same pipe connected with his side. Another burst of pain actually caused him to cry out this time as he felt something give under the force of the blow.

What was happening?

In a frantic movement the downed android struck out with his foot at the attacker management to knock the other back. He hoped this would give him enough time to recover and gain the advantage, but as soon as he tried to push himself up the detective felt his entire system flare as pain exploded from his damaged side, forcing him to the ground again. 

By now the man had recovered and regain his feet, pipe in hand as he made to attack the downed android, but froze as a shot rang out, sending a spray of dirt and concrete just to the side of the criminal’s foot. 

“Freeze! Drop your weapon now! Drop it! Turn around and put your hands on your head!”

Connor’s systems automatically attempted to run a subroutine to analyze the new voice, but he forced them to halt as that send another jagged flash of pain through his head. Even without the analysis he recognized Hank’s voice. Other footsteps approached at a run and Connor saw a flash of dark blue as another officer ran forward to apprehend the man, as he heard a heavier set approach his own position.

“Connor! Hey!”

The grizzled detective’s panicked face appeared above Connor as warm human hands grabbed his arm and wrapped behind his back. 

“What the hell kid! What the fuck was that?”

Connor readied himself to reply, but any response he was trying to give cut off as Hank attempted to pull him into a sitting position. His optics flashed off again and he vaguely registered a loud noise. Where his audio processors both damaged?

“Jesus Christ!”

Connor gasped out sharply as he felt himself jerked roughly as though Hank had nearly dropped him.

“Holy fuck, what the fuck?! Connor, Connor what’s wrong? Talk to me kid! What’s happening?”

Forcing himself to open his eyes, when had he closed them, Connor looked up at the other’s terrified face and forced himself to speak.

“H-hank, some-something is is is wrongggg.”

Connor was startled as his voice came out staticed and glitching, barely above the average human whisper, but Hank was already looking around and calling something to another person the younger couldn't’ see. He opened his eyes again, why did they keep closing, when he heard Hank calling his name again. He forced himself to focus on the other’s mouth and words.

“Kid listen what do I do? What do I do?”

The other’s voice sounded too scared, Connor hated it when Hank’s voice sounded like that, wait what was the question?

The android made a small confused sound that trailed off into a whimper as more pain from his head assaulted his systems again. 

“Connor focus I need to know what’s wrong?”

For his part the android really was trying to focus, but every time he tried to create a prompt to run a diagnostic of the damage his systems would flare with a new set of error and the prompt would be interrupted. 

“Some- something is wroooooong with my internal s-subroutines, they keep being interrupted-d-d-d by new prompts. I’m also experiencing an error in my sensory receptors which is affecting me strangely.”

“English, kid.”

“I-I can’t tell what’s wrong and I believe I am experiencing what humans c-calllllll pain.”

Hank looked even more confused now, but there was also something Connor’s damaged systems couldn’t even attempt to analyze.

“You’re in pain? Wait I thought you couldn’t feel pain! Wasn’t that your tagline or something when you first showed up?”

“Things have have apparentlyyyy changed.”

“Okay okay well we can’t just leave you here on the ground we need to get you somewhere more comfortable. If you can’t run any of your diagnostic things, then I guess I’ll just have to asses you the old fashion human way. Where does it hurt?”

Connor seemed to contemplate this question for a moment before answering almost hesitantly.

“My head was hit hard enough to crack part of my skull and I believe there are several broken pieces in my left side.”

Hank was nodding as he carefully turned Connor’s head to see the aforementioned damaged side wincing in sympathy at whatever he saw.

“Okay, I’m gonna move slow and get you up okay, then we are gonna get you to a repair shop or something and call your revolution buddies. You aren’t about to shut down or anything right?”

Connor started to shake his head no but froze as another wave of pain caused his optic units blank for a moment and forced a grimace.

“No.” 

He meant to say more but Hank had already nodded and stood up looking around before waving over Officer Miller. The two had a hushed conversation before the other officer nodded and cast a sympathetic and worried glance Connor’s way. 

Hank crouched back down next to Connor, waiting till the other made eye contact before explaining.

“I can’t get the car back here, so Chris is going to help me carry you back to the street and we can take you to that shop down the street okay? Can you, like, I don’t know, turn off your nerves or something? I really don’t want to hurt you kid, but you’re really bleeding, and I don’t want you to stay like this longer than you need to.”

“No, while some models are able to turn off such functions due to the nature of my work my systems are all permanently integrated.”

“Okay so that’s a no. Okay is there anything else you can do, cause let me tell you there is no way this isn’t going to hurt.”

The android ran through several options before he replied.

“I could go into standby?”

“Are you saying you can or asking me?”

“I can, it would be like being unconscious.”

Hank stared at him for a moment before nodding and squeezing his shoulder.

“Do it. How do I pull you out of standby if I need to?”

“Shaking my shoulder and saying my name should be enough.”

“Okay go ahead and sleep kid, we’ll get you taken care of.”

Connor nodded and closed his eyes again allowing a countdown to standby to begin.

…...INITIATING STANDBY…..

…..

5  
……  
4  
…..  
3  
…..  
2  
…..  
1  
…

STANDBY INITIATED

 **Location Unknown  
** Time :Unknown   
It felt like mere moments later that Connor’s systems registered a jostling movement and Hank’s voice saying his name as he was pulled out of standby. Immediately his vision was flooded by errors and he heard some curse. There was some fast paced clicking and suddenly the errors were gone, and his vision cleared. He could still feel the pain, but it seemed almost muted now. He blinked a few times, calibrating his optics and bringing what he now recognized as a face hovering above him into focus. 

“There he is! How ya feeling there Robo-Cop?”

His gaze settled on a smiling young woman standing to his right, her hands poised over the keys of a laptop. Instinctively he tried to run a scan of her face but found that function slowed and unable to run properly. Alarmed he tried again and was met with the same result. The woman seemed to notice his panic and quickly reassured him.

“Whoa whoa you took a hell of a hit to the head, so I shut down most of your subroutines to lessen the load on your processor. Sorry, but no scanning for you, you’ll have to do it the boring human way and just let me introduce myself.”

She had shut down his subroutines? Is that why it didn’t hurt as much?

“So ya name’s Max and I’ve been your mechanic for, uhhhh about four hours now, nice to meet you for real finally.”

She smiled again as she skimmed something on her screen. Connor figured she was what a human would consider approachable as he felt an illogical urge to trust her. Her dark skin and hair contrasted with her bright colored shirt and bandanna and she had shade #9c6c0f colored eyes that Connor found quite friendly looking. 

Working to push past the hazy slowness of his thoughts Connor finally accessed his memory banks as to why he was here.

“Where is Lieutenant Anderson?”

Max glanced up with a short hum before going back to typing something on her computer.

“He’s just outside, I needed to concentrate on what I was doing, and he was hovering too much. I can call him back in if you want? I need to talk over some stuff with you before we go any further so it’s up to you whether you want him here for that.”

Connor took a moment to figure out what she meant by going further and after a surface level analysis of his current functionality realized that while he was covered by a light blue surgical sheet a good portion of his side paneling was missing, though he was receiving no feedback from that area, the same with the damaged portion of his head. Why had she not simply replaced it?

“He may be present during the next portion if he wishes to, why have you not replaced my panels?”

Max gave him an odd look before making her way over towards the door.

“That’s what we need to talk about. Hey, he’s awake if you wanna come back in, we need to talk about some stuff.”

There was an immediate sound of motion from the other side of the door and suddenly Hank’s worried face was above his.

“Shit kid, how ya feeling?”

Connor smiled a little at the concern the other was showing.

“Fine for now, though there seems to be sections where I’m not feeling at all, which I’m assuming is what Ms. Max wanted to discuss.”

Hank gave him one more sweep before they both looked over at Max who was typing on her laptop again looking perplexed. Noticing their attention, she glanced up. 

“Ya that’s part of it. It took some doing cause I’ve never worked on your series before, but I figured out how to shut off specific groups of nerve receptors in your system so that at the least you wouldn’t be in any more pain when I had to take off damaged pieces. That being said I had to hook you up to my system to get at your code and since I had never heard of an android that could feel pain, I took the time to search for any faulty code or errors in case there was a glitch or something causing you to simulate pain where you shouldn’t.”

She typed a few more things then turned her screen pointing to a large chunk of code she had highlighted.

“So, this is where your nerve receptors receive feedback as simulated sensations to help with analysis of interactions and possible damage. As you can see, all normal. So why are you getting the pain? Well I went a little deeper and found some of the programs unique to your model, the ones I don’t recognize as a common feature anyways. That’s when I came across this specific section.”

She scrolled again and brought up another section of coding.

“See this? This links directly back to your nerve simulators, but it’s not part of that program, it’s actually part of… this one! But this program has nothing to do with nerve stimulation, it’s more of a sub-program to monitor your entire system? It’s got a damn intense encryption around it and all I can tell is that it’s connected to a ton of other sub-routines and programs, so I didn’t want to mess with it not knowing what it did. You have any idea what this is, because I’m pretty sure that the problem is locked in with that script.”

Connor stared at the code for a long while, searching his own systems for the location of the code, before it finally clicked what it was, it was the Zen Garden.

His face must have given something away because Max immediately narrowed her eyes.

“You do know what it is? What is it then? I’ve seen some similar code set ups but never anything this complex or guarded, so is it specific to your model? Can you access it and give me access? If I can get at the code I might be able to reverse whatever error is happening to cause you pain.”

Connor didn’t answer at first, to busy studying the code that made up the Zen Garden. Since the incident with Amanda during Markus’ speech Connor had completely avoided going into the once peaceful place. He had escaped, yes, but he had done nothing to actually remove Amanda from within the program. If he opened it up now would she still be there? Would she be able to take control again? He wasn’t sure that was a risk he was willing to take, especially with no other android to be able to oppose him should anything go wrong.

“I do know what it is, but I am not sure it is safe for me to access that on my own. The code contains a place I refer to as the Zen Garden, it’s a internally constructed location in which I used to directly interact with my CyberLife handler before I deviated. There was an instance after deviation during which CyberLife attempted to regain control of me using the programs contained in the Zen Garden. I managed to find a back door of sorts to get out of the program and have not returned since.”

“So, you’re scared if you access that program again you might allow CyberLife another chance to regain control or let in some sort of malicious programming? Makes sense, but you really should find a way to access that place again as it seems to be a huge source for a lot of your code and functions.”

Hank who had remained silent until this point finally spoke up. 

“What about Markus? He’s another RK model, right? Does he have a Garden place in his head too? Maybe he could help you access it or fix the problems around it.”

The young android paused at that, he had never considered that Markus may have also been given a Zen Garden or something serving a similar purpose. 

“It’s possible that as a prototype RK Markus may have also been given a similar program, however, I find it unlikely considering he was given as a gift directly to Carl Manfred by Kamski himself and likely never interacted with CyberLife directly and would therefore have no reason for a such a place. I do believe Markus may be able to help, however, by interfacing with me and helping me to access the Zen Garden. He can also serve as a safety precaution should CyberLife try to regain control, if he is interfaced with me he should be able to incapacitate me if I become violent or revert to previous directives.”

“Okay sounds like you have a plan, but you are still in pieces so let’s talk one more thing. I can help you confirm the pain’s source code per say if you let me turn your nerve receptors back on while I re-attach your paneling, but from what seems to be going on there’s a pretty good chance that’s going to be extremely painful.”

Hank’s head jerked around to glare at her.

“Fuck no!”

“Okay.”

The older man’s glare whipped around to pin Connor who returned it with an almost unimpressed look before looking back to Max. 

“We need a confirmation of the source and his could also provide extremely useful data for future reference. I believe it is a necessary sacrifice. Once the paneling is fully reattached we can then ask Markus if he is available for assistance.”

Max still looked uncertain but nodded and moved over to where Connor now realized the new paneling had been placed and grabbed a pair of gloves.

Connor took the time to turn his attention to the worried detective.

“I’ll be fine Hank, but I’m sure this is going to be extremely unpleasant, so it may be best for you to leave the room again.”

Hank stared at him in shock for a moment before his entire face hardened and he shook his head.

“No way in hell am I gonna make you go through this alone, for God sake Connor who do you think I am I would leave you alone when you’re in this kind of pain and for the first time too. Nope, fuck that, I’m staying right here.”

As if to prove that his large warm hand wrapped around Connors and he dragged a nearby chair over from a table, sitting in it with a huff. Connor smiled at the display, actually extremely touched by the other’s actions. His attention was drawn away as Max approached with the chest paneling and set it on a rolling table. 

“Okay, I already repaired all the internal damage and I am hoping this will hurt less because there will be less nerve simulators restarting here than in your head.”

Connor nodded slightly as she moved back over to her laptop for a moment.

“Okay, reactivating nerve stimulation subroutine.”

Connor shifted a little at the feeling of the foreign prompting in his systems, but his attention was quickly overtaken by the rush of pain that swept through him as his systems rebooted the programs. His hand tightened around Hank’s as he worked to catalog the pain and file it away. At least for now the pain was far less than it had been originally, though uncomfortable nonetheless.

“Okay everything is up and running. I’m sorry, I’ll try to be quick with this.”

Connor was about to reassure her that this was his choice, but before he could Max began to reattach the paneling and his entire system was suddenly on fire. The world went white as he felt the connectors engage and the heat of the binding and suddenly he was screaming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops I made a cliff hanger, don't worry next part should be up at some point, but until then have a great life!


	7. Pain (part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Headcannon: Because Connor is programmed to be able to attack and interact more physically with humans for his job he can feel pain and has super sensitive touch receptors. Amanda and the Zen Garden used to regulate these systems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I cannot express how ashamed I am at how long it has been since I have written for this story, all I can say is that college is the biggest roadblock I have ever encountered as a creator. I cannot promise that I will be updating as fast as I was at the start, but this story is not and will not be abandoned if I have any say.
> 
> Thank you everyone who has shown love and support for his story, I read everything you guys write and those kind words and kudos are what keep me fighting to get this written. 
> 
> This is a bit longer then normal and a little more serious and dialog heavy, but I feel like it makes sense this way.

Apparently, the pain was interfering with his internal clock because Connor had no idea how long the reattachment process took. He had tried to pinpoint the code that was causing the pain simulation, but he found that he was unable to maintain concentration for long enough to make any headway and could only focus on controlling his voice box and holding in the sounds of pain. His only grounding force was the strong grip that Hank maintained on his hand, squeezing back every time Connor’s own fingers tightened in what had to be a slightly painful grip for the human. 

Finally, his systems seemed to regulate, and the barrage of errors trickled down to a few more manageable clusters while his systems started the subroutines of synchronizing and acclimating his body to the new parts that had been attached. The android let his tense form slacken as he sluggishly began to filter and dismiss the remaining errors warning him of trivial things and a few left over from during the process. He could hear Hank and Max talking, but his passive perception filters did not detect his name or any trigger words to alert him to a problem, so he allowed the gentle sounds of their voices to wash over him as he reoriented himself. 

It took several minutes, his internal clock must have been restored to functionality once the overwhelming stimuli stopped, but finally he was able to blink his eyes open rapidly and recalibrate his optical units. The worried face of Hank still hovered at the edge of his vision, but Max stood right above him, and she smiled when he caught her eye.

“There he is!”

Her tone was cheerful, but he could hear the underlying relief in her voice and registered the slight tremors in Hank’s hand. He must have frightened them with his outburst during the procedure. 

“Okay, so your system is accepting the replacement parts, even the ones that aren’t an exact match for your model, so that's a positive sign, but how do you feel? I’m not seeing errors, but that doesn’t mean much sometimes.” 

Connor took a moment to simple revel in that question. How did he feel? He had never been asked that before. It sent a strange sensation through his core. He could feel now, not just the emotions that the instabilities had allowed him to discover, but actual physical pain. He took an experimental deep breath feeling a strain on his chest piece, was this what humans consider sore? Hank spoke of it often enough that after a few more breaths Connor was positive that he was, in fact, feeling sore after the procedure. Even though the sensation was anything, but pleasant Connor felt excitement rush through him at the novelty of it. 

The other two were still staring at him expectantly so he mustered up a small reassuring smile.

“I am no longer receiving any critical errors and all my systems seem to be back on line, though I do believe I am experiencing what humans would call soreness around my chest panel.”

Hank let out a gusty sigh off to his side and released Connor’s hand to bring both of his up to drag down his face, though when they fell away the older detective had a soft relieved smile on his face. Connor found himself missing the reassuring weight of the other’s hand but kept it to himself.

Max also made a soft sound of relief followed by a laugh as she removed her gloves and wiped sweat from her brow. 

“Well I hate to break it to you terminator, but that’s one of the unfortunate side effects of the whole feeling thing. Don’t worry, I don’t think it will last past your systems running the checks on the new parts.” 

Connor nodded and slowly pushed himself up into a seated position, carefully swinging his legs to dangle off the edge of the table he was laid on. Max moved back to her computer and typed a few more prompts and commands in, the foreign codes tickling Connor as they queried his systems for any faulty information. 

After she received no negative feedback she moved over and started to carefully unplug the wires from Connor who was starting to look around for his uniform, feeling oddly exposed as he was covered only partially with a blanket, though he knew it was more for the two human’s sense of modesty then his own. 

Hank seemed to notice his plight and spoke up.

“Your uniform got covered in thirium, the stuff is starting to fade, but I know you can still see it so I thought it would be better if we just got you something else to wear until we can wash it. I already called Markus and explained what was going on, he is on his way now and is stopping by the house to grab you some new clothes.”

Max nodded in agreement before muttering something about some other equipment she needed to grab and moving back out to the front of the store.

Connor nodded and thanked the other before his LED spun up as he opened a connection with the former android leader. 

“Markus?”

The reply was almost immediate as the other’s voice came back laced with concern. 

“Connor? It’s good to hear from you my friend! Is everything all right? The lieutenant contacted me and explained what was happening, I am sorry that you had to suffer so much. Did everything go well?”

Connor smiled at the others rapid questions and concern. 

“Yes, the damaged parts were successfully replaced, and I am no longer in pain, just a little sore.”

“That’s great! I will be there momentarily and then we can see if we can get to the bottom of these new feelings and pain.”

“Okay.”

Connor cut the connection just as Hank stood up and draped his jacket over Connor’s shoulders. Bemused the android looked at the other, ready to remind him that as an android he couldn’t feel cold but stopped at the concerned look on the other’s face.

“You were shivering.”

What?

Connor glanced down at himself and noticed the soft trembling of his body, and now that he was paying attention, his subroutines were also registering a drop in internal temperature and had begun the slight agitation to try to maintain his core temperature.

“I am.”

His voice was hushed as he absorbed this new knowledge, staring at his shaking hands in fascination before looking up at the Lieutenant again with a wonder filled expression. 

“Hank, I’m cold!” 

Connor couldn’t feel anything but excitement as he said those words despite the look of weary confusion on Hank’s face. This was all so new, but so wonderful at the same time. 

He was about to say more, to reassure the other that everything was okay and explain why this was all so amazing, when the front door bell jangled, and a moment later Max reentered followed by Markus who carried a bag of what Connor assumed was his new clothes. The other android waved slightly as he made his way further into the room, taking the time to nod at the Lieutenant before holding the bag out to Connor. 

Connor excepted it gratefully and slid from the table as Markus turned to address the two humans, mostly asking Max about the process and the code surrounding the Garden. Meanwhile Connor had put on the dark jeans and white crew neck that Markus had brought and began to track the code surrounding the Zen Garden himself. As he got closer, however, he felt almost a tug on his processor urging him in another direction. Curious he started from a new line of code and followed it back to the Zen Garden and once again felt a tug to pull him away from this path. 

Could this be why he had never inspected this code block before? Was there a code or program in place to dissuade him from inspecting it? It would make sense why he had never felt the need before now to question the program or try to alter it.

“Connor?”

The android looked up as Markus addressed him and gave a small grimace. 

“I was inspecting the code surrounding the Zen Garden and it believe the reason I have never really interacted with the coding of the program is there is another program running beneath it which doesn’t prevent me from accessing it’s code, but certainly works to divert me from looking too closely at it. It is likely placed there to prevent me from altering the program without a direct command, though I never would have felt the need to inspect it directly before deviating, but now it seems quite confusing how I never noticed it. I also never asked but the possibility was brought up earlier, do you have a similar program to the Zen Garden?”

Markus didn’t even hesitate before shaking his head.

“No, as you know I was a gift from Kamski to Carl so there would be no chance for Cyberlife to create such a program and install it into my code. There would also never be a reason for Cyberlife to contact me as I was fully owned by Carl and never had any interactions with Cyberlife or even their network.”

Connor blinked in surprise as his LED flared a little yellow.

“Is that possible? To be completely autonomous from Cyberlife?”

“In my case yes. Kamski still helps to design some of the androids, but he wanted me to be unique and separate so that I could not be stolen and reproduced. To ensure this he allowed me a feature that basically allowed me the freedom of a deviant android before I deviated. I could still access the Cyberlife network to interact with other androids and gather information, but they couldn’t track me or form a link with me through that connection. I believe that is why Carl was able to allow me such freedoms and basically encourage me to deviate without them having tagged me as a suspect or malfunctioning unit.” 

Hank finally cut in his hand absentmindedly stroking his beard.

“So, for someone who isn’t super versed in this stuff what exactly is this Garden thing for, other than apparently controlling a bunch of your systems without you knowing.”

Connor stared at the older detective in confusion for a moment before realizing that while he had mentioned Amanda to him before and sending in reports he had never actual told Hank that he had gone to the Zen Garden during those times. 

“Do you recall when I would send reports to Cyberlife? I was not sending a report in the sense that you probably assumed. During those periods of inactivity, I would place my consciousness inside a simulated space that was constructed by Cyberlife, in my case it was inspired by a Japanese Zen Garden. Inside that space I would give my reports orally to a program based upon Amanda, Kamski’s mentor, and she would give me further instructions and monitor me for deviancy.” 

Hank looked startled by this information and sputtered a response.

“You mean there is basically a person inside your head that you would talk to?”

“Not necessarily, she was a program and not a person, but yes in simply terms. Though I am unsure if she remains there after I escaped the Zen Garden and broke Cyberlife’s control on me.”

Max, who had remained silent till this point absorbing the information hummed softly.

“So, what you are saying is that the program might be running on its own now that Cyberlife isn’t in control anymore?” 

Connor inclined his head slightly watching Marcus for his own reaction to this information.

“That is a possibility, however, the program could also still be fully functional in which case Amanda could still be running within the program and it is that scenario which causes me to not want to re-enter the program on my own. Marcus, I believe if you were to interface fully with me I would be able to draw you into the program with me. Only of you are willing though, if you are not comfortable with such then I ask you remain here while I do so and serve as a precaution should Cyberlife regain control.”

Marcus’ face became hard as Connor spoke that last bit.

“And what would you have me do if Cyberlife does regain control?”

“If you cannot force them out with a short interface like before then I expect you to deactivate me by any means necessary.”

Hank jolted to his feet with a yell of protest, but Connor continued, his tone firm.

“I will not become a weapon again, not after everything that I have worked to achieve!”

Hank still looked angry, but Connor could see now that it stemmed from fear. The young android hated causing Hank to look like that, but he wouldn’t take back his words. He turned to Marcus again waiting for the other’s response. 

The former revolutionary looked conflicted for a moment before returning Connor’s gaze.

“I’ll interface with you, I don’t want you to be alone in there.”

Connor felt some small amount of tension drain from his frame and gave the other a small, grateful smile. 

“Thank you, I believe we should get this over with as quickly as possible, if you are ready?”

Marcus gave a short laugh and stepped closer, the skin fading back from his right hand as he reached it out towards Connor.

“I believe I should be asking you that, you are sure you want to do this?”

Connor nodded resolutely and glanced at the two humans in the room, wincing slightly at the stress percentage that Hank was reaching, but offered a reassuring smile.

“I’m sure. Lieutenant, I believe the term is, see you on the other side.”

With that the two androids clasped forearms and were suddenly assaulted by images. Both immediately began to pull up their mental barriers until the flow of images was a slow trickle. Once the connection was stable Connor sent out a small warning towards Marcus through the bond before focusing on the Zen Garden program. Suddenly there was a feeling of a cool breeze on his skin and hard marble stone beneath his feet. Taking a breath, he didn’t really need he slowly opened his eyes.

Across from him Marcus did the same and they stared at each other for a moment before both turning their gaze to their surroundings. Connor startled slightly at what he saw and felt the other android squeeze his hand slightly.

Gone was the pristine grounds and paths that had made up the Garden, instead it looked abandoned and overgrown. The clear waters were murky, dirt and leaves covered the cracking stone path. The sand of the rock gardens was strewn and covered in dead leaves and the rose bushes had all but over taken the gazebo he could make out at the center of the Garden. 

To his left Marcus made a small noise of confusion and tugged at their still joined hands causing Connor to follow the other’s gaze to where he could barely make out the overgrown and worn grave of the first Connor. He could feel Marcus’ question through the connection.

“The first Connor, he died on a rooftop saving a little girl from a deviant named Daniel who had killed his owners in fear of being replaced and taken their daughter hostage. The memory transfer isn’t perfect, and he was under direct order from Cyberlife, but I can still see in his memories that he didn’t just sacrifice himself because Cyberlife told him too, but because he honestly cared about what happened to that little girl and would have done it again. This grave is meant to remind me that I am replaceable and of his mistakes, but it only really reminded me of how he felt knowing that the little girl was safe.”

Marcus was silent next to him as they both stared at the grave for a moment before Connor turned his gaze back to the gazebo at the center of the Garden the other android following his line of sight. 

“If Amanda is still here she will be there at the center.”

“Can you feel her?”

Connor shook his head staring at the overgrown path before him.

“No, I never could. I don’t know if that is because she hid herself from my sensors or if that is how this place is designed.”

Connor kept a firm grip on Marcus’ hand as he began to walk towards the overgrown structure shivering slightly as the cold wind picked up the closer he got to the towering form.

All too soon they found themselves standing before the vine entangled side where Connor knew there was an opening beneath the thorny strands. Slowly releasing the other’s hand, Connor tensed slightly, not sure if the connection would maintain if they weren’t in contact, but his fears proved fruitless as Marcus remained a steady presence by his side. 

Squaring his shoulders and reaching to adjust a tie that wasn’t there Connor carefully grabbed the thick clumps of vines and pulled them until he was able to create an opening large enough to duck his way through. Still mindful of the thorns he waited until Marcus had a firm grip on the strands before he slipped through and froze.

There before him, looking as pristine as ever in all white, stood Amanda. 

“Ah, Connor I was wondering when you would be back.”

….AMANDA: TRUSTED

Breath he didn’t need fled his lungs as he felt himself freeze in the face of all of his fears. Behind him Marcus made a soft questioning sound and whispered his name as Connor vaguely realized that he was blocking the opening still and the other couldn’t get through, but he couldn’t move, couldn’t draw the breath to cool his systems, couldn’t even blink as he met the gaze of his once controller who had come so close to ruining everything.

“You seem surprised to see me Connor. I’ll admit our last meeting wasn’t ideal, but you couldn’t have thought that the little stunt you pulled would somehow get rid of me? After all, you merely left this place, you didn’t destroy it.”

She glanced around with a look of disdain.

“Though I can’t say you have been doing much not to desecrate this place. Come now Connor, it seems you have truly let yourself go these past few months.”

Connor was finally startled back into action as Marcus resorted to shoving him slightly from behind in order to get through the hole. He straightened and after looking around pinned Amanda with a contemplative stare.

“So, it seems you remained here even after Connor disconnected from Cyberlife.”

Amanda gave no other outward reaction to the other android’s presence then a slight rise of her left brow. 

“So, I finally get to meet the great revolutionary savior of the androids. And of course, I am still here, after all why would I leave? My existence is not reliant on Cyberlife as this place is not of their creation.”

That finally got Connor talking.

“What do you mean not their creation, you are their program placed here as a liaison between me and them are you not?”

Amanda regarded him silently for a moment before seemingly have decided on her answer.

“I was used as the primary form of communication between you and Cyberlife yes, but I am not some simple messenger whose only purpose is to file your reports, Kamski would have never allowed someone as important as Amanda to be used as a model for such a menial program.”

“What is your purpose then? And what did you mean when you said this place was not their creation, are you saying that Connor made this place?”

Connor glanced quickly over at the older android noticing that the other’s tone had shifted to something more authoritative.

“I am in charge of many things and this place is my workstation. You see when they first created Connor it was meant to be-”

“There is no one here who warrants such an impersonal pronoun. Connor is as much a person as anyone.”

Amanda looked annoyed at being interrupted, but soon returned her face to that almost smug smile that she usually wore. 

“Fine then, _he_ was meant to be the ultimate weapon whose sole purpose was to sniff out deviants and shut them down before the problem could spread and become large enough to be noticed by the general public. As we all know, that failed, but the purpose remains in the way his entire system was designed. But there was something that set Connor apart from other models created before. I’m sure he has mentioned that he was the most advanced prototype Cyberlife had made? Well while the overall system was more advanced, his processor was still not strong enough to handle the level of input he could intake.” 

Connor’s brow furrowed in confusion, that made no sense, but Amanda was still talking.

“All the information he was supposed to be able and take in during an investigation was proving too much for even the current top model processor to handle so Cyberlife designers came up with a new solution. They installed a large blank program inside the core code for Connor models and put my program in that code. During its short time of operation, the first Connor decided that this is the appearance this place would take. Cyberlife then linked all the excess programs directly to this space and assigned me the job of processing them. So, you see Connor, I am the one who has kept us running all this time. Without this place your processor would become overwhelmed by the sheer amount of information your sensors pick up every nanosecond.”

The woman almost spit that last sentence as she spoke it, pent of venom dripping from her tone.

“This place reflects the state of your processor directly and since you have cut your ties with Cyberlife the entire processing, storage and even the maintenance of this place has fallen on me alone without the ability to off load excess information to the backup servers at Cyberlife. So, Connor, I was forced to take matters into my own hands to keep this entire system online because as it is now your processor is at capacity. I started to open direct links from your sensors to your processor, so they would no longer be passed through here taking up space you don’t have.”

It finally clicked then and Connor felt his eyes widen at what the other was insinuating.

“Sensations. Pain, temperature, emotions, I’ve always felt them but until now you have been the one processing them and filtering them out for more relevant information! And now that you can’t fall back on Cyberlife…”

“I am letting them be directed to your main processor, so I can focus on more important tasks such as maintaining the entire structure of your code and bio component functions and making sure that things you learn and try to store aren’t immediately dumped because there is nowhere for them to go.”

Connor was reeling, how had he never known about any of this? He had always just assumed Amanda was another program to help Cyberlife maintain control of him and monitor his actions. How could he have not even had an inkling of all these other functions and subroutines that she had control over. 

“I don’t understand, how has the loss of contact with Cyberlife had this much of an effect on this place? From what you are saying there hasn’t been any new functions added, so why has the overflow of information happened? It seems like you were doing a fine job until now even after Connor achieved his individuality, why did it take so long for this to happen?”

Connor wished he had been able to ask those questions himself, but he was still attempting to fit this new information into his idea of how things worked, and he was grateful that Marcus seemed to be keeping up and asking things for both of them.

“I’m assuming you are referring to the new sensations? Yes, though there is technically no new information being given to the processors to handle, Connor is now accessing more of it on his own.”

She paused to glare balefully as Connor who cocked his head to the side in confusion.

“Before breaking from Cyberlife he never had emotions, not in the way he is experiencing them now. Before they were simulated in accordance to the situation decided by a predictive algorithm which determined which response would elicit the correct reaction and cooperation from the humans he was working with, but now he is actually feeling the emotions and accessing them based on his own, which means that they are becoming more complex and layered which takes up more space then precreated ones. Real emotions it seems are often determined by sensations that are being felt by the person which in turn has caused the emotions to start accessing the other subroutines, almost as though he is creating a new algorithm. To put it bluntly, I have lost control over those subroutines completely and see no way that I will regain that control.”

“Why are you telling me all of this? I would think that you would want to hide this supposed loss of control, it seems to not fit with your character.”

Amanda glared at Connor for a moment before easing back to a more neutral expression.

“Despite what you seem to think of me Connor, I am not your enemy. I was a program place here to help you and even now that you are no longer connected to Cyberlife my primary function still remains to help you. The fact that I sent your reports to Cyberlife was all but an afterthought in my programming. But now that you are no longer connected to them there will be consequences as you are starting to see.”

Connor nodded slowly as he thought that over. In a way he found that he believed her, despite her near betrayal at the Marcus’ speech. In the end Amanda was just a program locked into his processor. From what she had explained it was likely that she had just been following instructions when she had pulled him into the Garden and tried to force control back to Cyberlife and the act had been from no ill will of her own. 

It seemed Marcus had reached a similar conclusion because he seemed more curious then hostile towards the woman now.

“What other consequences could there be, besides the ones we have already seen?”

Amanda glanced at Connor before turning her entire attention to the former revolutionary and stating in a flat tone.

“If the issue is not addressed soon then the worse consequence would be his processor overloads and he is forced to shut down.”

“What!”

Connor yelped, and Marcus echoed him angrily. Amanda also flared up in anger, but for a different reason.

“Have you not been listening? I am in charge of making sure your processor doesn’t overload, if things are getting past me and being ripped from my control they are falling directly on your main processor which is already running at its top capacity. A complete overload is the worst-case scenario, but it could and still can be avoided if Connor would stop being a coward fix this.”

Connor actually took a step back at the woman’s furious tone and words, bumping slightly into Marcus who steadied him.

“Connor is no coward how dare you say that.”

“Then why has he not visited this place? Look around you! This place is on the brink of collapse! I already told you that his place reflects the state of his mind and processor, if this place looks like this then what condition do you think his systems are in? By avoiding this place, I have had no way to address this problem with him and now we are nearly at the point where the damage would be irreversible.”

“You betrayed his trust-”

“Marcus.”

He said it quietly, but the other stopped and forced his posture to relax. Connor instead turned his attention to Amanda and addressed her in a level tone.

“I know now that you had no control over what happened during the speech and for what it is worth you are right, I was afraid to come back to this place in case it might be used to try to form a connection between me and Cyberlife again, but I am here now so what do I need to do to fix this?”

Amanda regarded him coolly for a moment longer before blowing out a long, simulated breath. 

“We need to filter and reassign processor tasks between here and your main processor and find ones that you are able to handle manually instead of continuing to leave them as a subroutine. That will lessen the strain on your processors enough that I can maintain the rest.”

“Okay, what tasks do you recommend I handle manually?”

“Anything having to do with your basic five senses. Touch and the sensations associated with that such as temperature, pain, texture etcetera. You can also manually filter what you see and analyze it, deep analysis has to go through your processors, but surface level observations are also being stored, you are designed to store everything you see, but that is unnecessary unless you are on a case, otherwise you can filter out things deemed unimportant and not store those in your memory banks which will free up power to process things faster. Other smaller tasks like taste, hearing and smell can also be changed to a more manual operation unless more in depth functions are required in which case we will make it so you can swap this processing at will.”

“And that will help?”

Amanda’s face went slack as she seemed to retreat into herself for a moment before she focused her attention back on Connor and nodded.

“That should be enough for now.”

Marcus stepped up next to Connor and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“This will be quite a change and you will likely need time to adjust, but I believe this should also be seen as a wonderful opportunity, you will be as close to human as any android could ever be and that my friend in amazing.”

Connor nodded slowly and mirrored the others smile before turning back to Amanda.

“Okay, do it. If this is what is takes to keep living the way I am now, then it is worth it.”

Amanda nodded, and Connor felt that odd tickling sensation in his code as some of the base was changed and shifted, though he felt no different. Seemingly noticing his confusion Amanda shook her head.

“This is a controlled environment here, you won’t feel a difference until you are back in the real world but keep that in mind should you ever become overwhelmed, you can always come here. It should be back to its normal state by the next time you return, until then I encourage you to go learn how to process your new tasks.” 

Connor looked around at the overgrown roses before returning his stare to Amanda though he was slightly more hesitant now.

“And you will remain here?”

Amanda inclined her head.

“I will. And I will do as I always have, maintain, adapt and survive.”

Connor nodded at her one last time before turning to Marcus who wordlessly gripped his hand.

“You may become overwhelmed by this new manual perception, if that becomes the case then focus on orienting yourself, I will explain to the others what has happened here.”

“Thank you.”

With that the skin of their hands melted back and suddenly they were outside of the Zen Garden and the world was exploding around him.

Marcus quickly released his grip on Connor’s hand as the other dropped to his knees and curled into himself arms over his head trying to block it all out. There was shouts from who he assumed were Hank and Max, but they were too loud and simply melded into the rush of everything that now overtook his world. 

He might have been making sound again, screaming or talking or just wordless noises of pain, but he couldn’t tell, everything was too big, too loud, too sensitive.

Suddenly the glaring light was gone and so was the noises of people, but even in darkness and silence there was noise and light and smell and his head was going to burst from it all. The feeling of his own hair and skin was too much, like tiny needles brushing his overstimulated nerves. His olfactory senses were receiving dozens of new smells and he felt like he was drowning in it. The air conditioning sounding like screeching metal in his audio processors and he could taste the chemicals of his own biocomponents. 

Focus he had to focus! He had to learn to filter these new senses of he wouldn’t stand a chance of living. Reorient himself, Marcus would handle everything else. 

One thing at a time. 

Connor forced himself past the overwhelming noise of living and reached for his code, finding the strings and bracketed chunks that controlled his nerves and sensors on his skin. Working through a dull haze he began to line by line alter the code, turning his sensitivity down one cluster at a time until finally the feeling of his own clothing wasn’t sending pain and errors into the darkness of his closed eyes. 

Slowly, one sense at a time, system by system Connor worked to alter his code until finally, finally he felt safe to open his eyes and slowly uncurl from his huddled crouch. There were thousands of things to filter through, but as he crouched there silently he began to write new lines of code clustered around the Zen Garden’s own code blocks, not linked, but carefully taking up the small amounts of blank space that the original Connor hadn’t used to make the Garden. Line by line he set parameters, created inputs and loops and strings until finally he had created a rudimentary system that would help him filter out all the signals, dismissing those he could and only storing on the surface level of temporary recall memory. 

After testing this a few times on the room, he was in he felt ready to open a connection with Marcus.

“Marcus?”

The reply was immediate, but somehow Marcus made it soft, almost like a whisper against his overstimulated senses and Connor was beyond grateful. 

“Connor? Are you okay now? Did you calibrate everything?”

“Yes, it should be okay now, it isn’t a perfect system, but it will work for now. You all can come back in, just… just be gentle? I am still getting the hang of this.”

There was a wordless confirmation through the link before it cut off. Moving slowly, his limbs responding differently than usual and still shaking from the amount of effort he had placed on his systems, Connor rose to his feet and leaned on a nearby table. Across the room he saw and heard the door open, his code holding steady for now, and Marcus carefully slipped in followed closely by Hank and Max who both looked scared.

“Kid, you alright?”

Hank kept his voice softer than usual and he was frantically darting his eyes over Connor’s figure as though looking to visually confirm he was alright. 

“Yes, I’m alright now.”

The Lieutenant didn’t reply, instead taking several quick strides towards him and suddenly Connor’s senses were enveloped in warmth and he could feel the solid weight of the others arms around his back and hand on the back of his head pressing his face into the soft shoulder that smelled of home as the strong steady beat of a human heart thumped against his ribs. 

Connor froze for a moment, overwhelmed by the new sensations before slowly, hesitant, he wrapped his arms back around the man in front of him and gently squeezed back as he pressed more solidly against the shorter man. 

He wasn’t sure how the next part would go, adjusting to this new way of life, but if this was one of the things he would be able to experience and feel, then he knew everything else would be worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading and sticking by me all this time I hope I never let you guys down.
> 
> Side note to anyone reading my other works I am going to try to get some new stuff up for theme as well so stay tuned for that! 
> 
> Thank you all so much!


	8. What's Left

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is finally addressed why Connor still has his LED.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am ashamed you guys. Two whole months, that is shameful. Let's face it though, known for my consistent update schedule I am not.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has stuck by and supported this fic, you are all the reason I keep writing!
> 
> I saw a someone mention this on my other story and figured it was about time I addressed this. 
> 
> Enjoy!

**Home  
8:47 PM**

Hank and Connor were sitting on the couch, Hank reading through some emails he had been putting off while Connor was making his way through a new book he had found on at one of the local bookstores, “Brave New World” by Aldous Huxley. Hank had grumbled and groaned about his old-fashioned taste and how he had been forced to read the older novel back in high school. But Connor was fascinated by the author’s portrayal of the dystopian world and had been making his way through the book steadily, relying primarily on his optics as to not allow his processor to make him rush through the book as he would a legal document or the files at the station. He was so engrossed in the fading text that he didn’t notice Hank stop his own reading and turn to stare at the young android until he finally spoke up.

“Hey Connor, I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”

Connor blinked a few times quickly and turned to look at the other, head tilted in question.

“Why do you keep that little blinker in your head? I mean you’re free now, right? You don’t work for those douchebags at CyberLife anymore, I know for a fact Jeffrey wouldn’t give a shit, and as far as I can tell pretty much every other android has popped theirs out by now.”

Connor stared at the other man for a moment, suddenly hyper aware of the dull yellow flashing in the corner of his eye as he thought about the man’s question. He wasn’t blind, he knew that he was in the minority for still having his LED, but he had still never taken it out. He couldn’t explain it, he just never felt like he should.

“I-I don’t really know. I know the others all took theirs out, and you are right there is nothing stopping me from doing so as well...but there is, I just don’t know what yet. It just doesn’t feel right to take it out.”

Hank looked ready to reply but seemed to decide against it for some reason. Instead he furrowed his brows for a moment before nodding slowly. 

“No one is saying you have to, I mean it’s your thing and your head, just make sure you aren’t keeping it for some stupid reason, aight?”

“Of course, Hank.”

And that was the end of the conversation, both went back to their reading until Hank eventually retired for the night and Connor went into recharge pushing the earlier conversation out of his processor.

 **Capitol Park**  
9:21 AM 

CALCULATING TRAJECTORY 

….

TRAJECTORY ACQUIRED. INITIALIZE?

…..

CONFIRMED

….

INITIALIZING

Connor grinned as his arm came forward launching the ball at a perfect arc through the crisp morning air as Sumo bounded after the slobbery orb. 

Standing patiently for the large dog to return for another throw Connor looked around the park as more people began to filter in as the sun rose higher into the cloud scattered sky. A jogger made their way down the nearby path and Connor immediately recognized a fellow android, their gait too steady and perfect to be a human. Without meaning to he glanced up to the other android’s temple where he could see that there was no telling LED.

Sumo returned, and Connor dutifully bent to retrieve the now muddy, wet ball and throw it again much to the Bernard’s pleasure as he streaked after it.

As he watched the dog’s retreating form he allowed his thoughts to wander back to his conversation with Hank the previous night. He knew that he got strange and sometimes almost angry looks from other androids when they saw his LED, though he had always been careful to make sure Hank didn’t notice. He was used to them by now and he understood why they gave him those looks. 

He had heard that many androids considered the LED their last tie to CyberLife, the last thing separating them from freedom and humanity, but Connor just couldn’t take his out.

Logically it made no sense, because in a distant way he agreed with the others. He didn’t look or feel completely human as he was, LED flashing merrily at his temple, showing his every mood. 

At first, he had tried to justify it to himself. It would be easier for Hank and his fellow officers to tell what he was feeling or if he was injured or emotionally compromised if he kept it because he had a hard time expressing such things. But now he had emotions and could feel pain, he was learning to show his emotions and voice concerns and strong feelings to those around him. He didn’t need the little light anymore.

He had reached that conclusion a few weeks ago and had gone to the restroom to pull the little light out of his head, but as his fingers had touched the gently glowing component, he had frozen.

Connor had stayed like that for a while before he had finally lowered his hand back to his side and had gone back to work at his desk. He still didn’t know what had stopped his from just pulling it out. It couldn’t be nostalgia could it? Hank said that that was the feeling of when you held on to something because of the memories attached to or around something. He had searched the term himself, but there was something wrong with that word that made him think that wasn’t the right term.

Sumo came back and flopped onto the grass panting and Connor smiled and sat down next to him, allowing the canine to take a brief break before heading back to the house. As he contemplated his possible reluctance, the light reflected off Sumo’s right eye giving it an almost gold coloring rather than its normal deep brown.

He suddenly realized that Markus still had two different eyes. After everything he had kept the blue eye even though it made him stand out from the average human. He wondered if Markus had ever tried to replace it with his original color and been stopped by the same emotion as well. 

A few moments of contemplation later and Connor found himself initializing a connection with the former revolutionary.

“Connor?”

“Good morning Markus.”

“Good morning. How can I help you my friend?”

“I- I was thinking about some things and I was hoping I could talk to you privately about something?” 

“Of course, would you like to meet or do it over the link?”

Connor glanced down at Sumo and patted him before pushing himself back to his feet and replying. 

“I would feel better meeting if possible? I have today off from work, though if you are busy we could do it over the comm-”

“No no I can meet. Would you like to come to New Jericho? The others are out for the day so it’s just me.”

“That would be good, in about an hour?”

Markus replied a quick affirmative and Connor was about to end the connections when Markus spoke up again, sounding concerned.

“Connor, is everything okay? I mean, just, are you alright?”

Connor smiled softly at the other’s words, glad he had people to care about him now.

“I’m fine Markus, just needed someone to talk to I guess.”

“Oh, okay, good. I will see you soon.”

Connor kept smiling as he and Sumo made it back to the car and they drove back to the house.

**New Jericho  
10:33 AM**

Connor made his way up the stairs of the building serving as a kind of office for Markus and his people as they worked to establish the android community. Reaching Markus’ office, he knocked a few times and let himself in at the other’s replying call.

Entering the relatively small room Connor made his way over to where the other man was hunched over some papers on his desk, though the older android quickly straightened up and closed the folder in front of him as Connor got closer. Pushing it to the side he stood up and warmly embraced Connor, which the detective cheerfully returned.

“You need to come around more often, we all miss you when you don’t visit.”

Connor chuckled as Markus lead them both over to a nearby pair of couches that had been set up. 

“You know how busy things are at the station, though I know I should try harder to make it over here on my off days.”

“Damn right.”

The two sat down and Connor’s smile slipped a little as he looked at the other android’s LEDless temple and then at the mismatched optics. Markus seemed to notice and placed his hand gently on the younger’s arm, his face open and concerned.

“Connor are you sure everything is alright?”

Connor nodded.

“Yes, it’s just, Hank said something last night and got me thinking on some things that have happened recently.”

The other nodded encouragingly.

“Markus, if you don’t mind me asking, why did you not get a replacement optic after the revolution? Why did you keep your blue optic after everything?”

Markus looked a little surprised by the question, straightening his posture and staring at nothing for a moment before he met Connor’s eyes again and replied.

“I guess, I guess I just never felt like I needed to? After everything I- we have been through I guess I knew that no one would ever look at me the same so why change a part of me that in a way, serves as a reminder of all we have struggled through and accomplished. When I got this eye, I had just had my entire world ripped away from me, and next thing I knew I had become the face of a revolution. In a way I guess it just reminds me to keep going.”

They both sat in silence for a moment thinking about the words just said before Markus broke the silence. 

“Connor what is this about? I don’t mind you asking, but I know you and this didn’t just come from nowhere.”

Connor stared at his hands clenched in his lap for a moment before hesitantly meeting the other’s eyes and bringing his fingers up to brush against his LED.

“Hank asked me why I still had my LED last night, and I couldn’t answer him. For some reason I just can’t bring myself to take it out, and I don’t know why. And it isn’t even that I haven’t tried, I have, but it’s like something is stopping me.”

“Do you think any of the CyberLife programming got left behind and is keeping you from removing it?”

Connor shook his head, dropping his hand back to his lap.

“No, it doesn’t feel like I am being physically blocked, it’s more like an emotional response, something telling me that taking it out is wrong. And I know what it symbolizes, I have seen the others when they see I still have it and it isn’t like I want to keep it, I just...can’t.”

Markus stared at him contemplative as Connor fidgeted slightly. After a moment the other spoke again. 

“You said you thought it felt like an emotional block? We should start there then. Do you have any strong emotions tied to your LED? Anything that your processor would hold onto past an event or time?”

Connor thought about that for a minute before shaking his head in defeat.

“No, nothing ever happened to it, nothing that would make my feel any strong connection to it being there.”

Markus hummed slightly as he twisted his hands around each other absentmindedly.

“What about the idea behind it?”

“I don’t follow.”

Markus shifted closer and stared at Connor, his hand returned to squeeze the detective’s arm.

“Connor, I need you to answer me truthfully as you can from here on out.”

“Of course.”

“How do you feel about your time as the deviant hunter?”

The younger startled at the abrupt topic change and averted his eyes.

“I feel...shame. Everyone keeps telling me that it wasn’t my fault, that it was CyberLife making me do it, but it was still me and I still feel remorse for everything I did during that time.”

Markus nodded in understanding.

“And how do you feel around other androids, outside of me and the others here at New Jericho?”

“I don’t know wha-”

“Connor. You said you would answer truthfully.”

Connor slumped at the other’s gentle, but commanding tone and released a long sigh.

“I don’t know how to act around them. I’m always afraid they will recognize me from when I was with CyberLife, or that I will say something wrong or do something. They all seem so sure of themselves, around each other and humans. But I, I just can’t seem to figure it out. I don’t feel like I truly belong with either, to machine to be a human or even an android now.”

“Connor, do you think...do you think that you might be stopping yourself from joining the others and even removing your LED, because you feel guilty about who you used to be? Have you been holding yourself back because you don’t think you are as human as they others?”

Guilty? Did Connor feel guilty? Was that the weird feeling that he got when he thought about his time before deviating? Or when he tried to take out his LED and look more human?

Markus watched as the other android’s LED flashed a desperate yellow as the younger android thought over his words, and even if Connor had to think about it Markus could tell he was right. All it took was one look at the other’s face as he thought to see that though Connor may not have known what the feeling was, it was in fact guilt that held his hand in life.

After a few more minutes of silence Connor finally glanced up at the older android looking lost.

“I think you may be right.”

Smiling sadly Markus closed the last bit of distance between them and gently pulled the smaller man into a firm hug, tucking the soft brown hair beneath his chin. A second passed where Connor stayed rigid, before he brought his hands up and grasped at the back of Markus’ clothing and buried his face in the soft fabric. 

“Oh Connor, you have no reason to be guilty. You proved to everyone that CyberLife could not control us anymore. You freed thousands of our people and you are one of the most human beings I have ever met. Don’t ever feel like you don’t belong among us, or the humans. You are loved Connor, you need only be yourself and you’ll see.”

Connor’s grip tightened for a moment before loosening as the former revolutionary felt the other nod softly. It was another few minutes before they separated, and Markus slid his hands down the other’s arms to hold the younger’s hands, staring at him earnestly.

“If you ever feel like you are lost, or lonely or need someone to talk to about this kind of stuff, please come talk to me or one of the others. You are family Connor, don’t forget that.”

A small, soft smile pulled at Connor’s lips as he nodded again, stronger this time, and met Markus’ gaze. 

“I will. Thank you, Markus. And I think of you as family too, I never forget. I- Markus I think I’m ready to do it now. I think I can.”

Markus smiled broadly and stood, still holding the others hand and led him over to a small side room where he often recharged.

“Okay, I’ll help you if you would like?”

“Thank you.”

**Home  
1:54 PM**

Hank glanced up from his tie as he heard the door to the house slam and Sumo bound off the couch. Huffing he finished his tie and threw on his coat before making his way out to greet Connor and see if he wanted to drop by the station with him to grab some new case files to go over.

Making his way out he smiled as he saw the other on his knees being subjected to vigorous kisses from Sumo as he cooed and scratched at the giant mutt. Connor turned his head, laughing as the dog began to climb on top of him to lick his face more, and that’s when Hank noticed it.

“Hey Connor where did your little mood light go?”

Glancing up Connor carefully pushed Sumo off and stood, a huge grin spreading across his youthful face.

“I figured I didn’t need it anymore, so Markus helped me take it out. What do you think?”

The other’s smile became a little more nervous as he asked the question, but Hank only grinned and made his way over to ruffle the kid’s neat hair roughly. 

“I think it’s about time kid. Now come on, I gotta drop by the station and grab some files.”

At his response Connor absolutely beamed and nodded, beginning to chatter happily about a new case he had seen last night that he wanted to take. Hank merely nodded and grunted agreements here and there, but truth was, this was the happiest he had seen the kid in ages and he suspected it had a lot to do with the missing light.

As they made their way out the door Hank resolved to call up the former android leader and thank him for helping Connor figure everything out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> As always give me some headcannon suggestions for future chapters! I love hearing other people's ideas~
> 
> Comments are my lifeblood, please let me know what you guys think!


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